Nathan’s Public Journal | I

Thursday, 12/10/2020

I’ve been up since sometime in the 2 o’clock hour of this morning, it’s 04:45 now. The minutes are counting down, I wonder what today might hold for each of us alive and breathing. I pray the day begins with a mind set on eternity; I experience a very internal, but emotional, excitement, when I think of what this life consists of. There is so much opportunity, it’s overwhelming. And the experience of this emotion is coupled with admiration for all people carrying their cross (serving their task at hand). I don’t just mean Christian’s, but all people. Because why? Why do we wake-up to do what we do in this life? I mean if it’s not for the service of freedom, and experience of love, then what is it? I don’t know where I was going with that … whatever. Anyway.

Goal

I think I want some eggs right now! Yes, I want some eggs. And coffee!!! Ahhh yeah, coffee baby!

It’s now 05:06, time flies when distracted from my abstract goal to a bodily goal. There are two different languages speaking right now: (1) my goal of structure to implement, and (2) my body’s desire for what it wants. This is very interesting to me because I could resist my body’s goal for physical sustenance while pressing on my current course, which subjects my body’s will to the will of my mind, but then I’m faced with this emotional affect that can be very difficult to control when the body craves what it does. It’s like my body is complaining and whining, it’s a baby, and my mind is getting pissed off because I’m having to serve this wretched appetite that consumes its purpose…

FEED MEEEEEE,

COFFEEE NOWW,

OR I’LL END YOU!!!

Completely derailing the intended point of my writing at this time! Punch me in the face!

Welp, this present discourse appears to sum up the goal of this journey—for all intents and purposes—which is to argue with oneself. Alright, I’m going to serve my taskmaster of a body.

I need to process what I have thus far anyway, so until next time NPJ!

Stay structured!

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