Category Archives: Journal

An Update 7-14-21

What happened? I blinked, and it’s been nearly 3 weeks since I’ve posted. Time is unrelenting. You might remember a few of my *cringing* ‘public journal’ posts with a draft and revised outline as you’ll find linked below:


//DRAFT//

  • Jesus Christ is my belief structure.
    1. What does that mean? (salvation).
      1. Human soul and God.
        1. Saved by grace through faith.
        2. How does faith work?
  • I love my wife—priority.
    1. She is the core/center of my responsibilities.
      1. I need structure.
        1. Public Journal/accountability
  • Job with hours to aid me on this trajectory.
    1. Not ideal, but blessed.
      1. I work nights and days.
      2. Best option at the moment.
        1. Aim for only nights if available.
        2. Or learn how to write, like, very good!
  • Psychology Professor—Jordan Peterson.
    1. Mentor/Maps of Meaning/(biblical skeptic?)
      1. I think Jordan’s strategy to understand ‘meaning’ is awesome!
  • My personality— understand and improve.
    1. 1 Peter 3:15 (but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;)
      1. There is a hope in the personality of a believer.
        1. My personality is wild; I want to understand it.
  • Skill/s to master:
    1. Writing.
  • Goal/s…
    • Is there more than one?
      • Where is the sacred ground?
        • What is this going to do?
          • How will this be effective?
            • What is the sacrifice?
              • Will the practice, preach?
                • What does it mean?
                  • When is it time to plant?
  • The seed is to sanctify Christ as Lord in my heart.

//REVISED//

  • Jesus Christ is my belief structure.
    1. What does that mean? (salvation).
      1. Human soul and God.
        1. Saved by grace through faith.
        2. How does faith work?
  • I love my wife—priority.
    1. She is the core/center of my responsibilities.
      1. I need structure.
        1. Public Journal/accountability
  • Job with hours to aid me on this trajectory.
    1. Not ideal, but blessed.
      1. I work nights and days.
      2. Best option at the moment.
        1. Aim for only nights if available.
        2. Or learn how to write, like, very good!
  • Psychology Professor—Jordan Peterson.
    1. Mentor/Maps of Meaning/(biblical skeptic?)
      1. I think Jordan’s strategy to understand ‘meaning’ is awesome!
  • My personality— understand and improve.
    1. 1 Peter 3:15 (but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;)
      1. There is a hope in the personality of a believer.
        1. My personality is wild; I want to understand it.
  • Skill/s to master:
    1. Writing.
    2. Videography.
  • Goal/s…
    • Is there more than one?
      • Where is the sacred ground?
        • What is this going to do?
          • How will this be effective?
            • What is the sacrifice?
              • Will the practice, preach?
                • What does it mean?
                  • When is it time to plant?
  • The seed is to sanctify Christ as Lord in my heart.

If the above outline is new to you, perfect, don’t worry about investigating it. I’ll give a brief background as to why they’re relevant.

The outline dates back to December of 2020 (approximately 7 months ago). I was prepping for the typical new years resolution (2021). Judging from my outline, that wasn’t all; there was obviously much more going on with me than setting goals. I had questions. And although I didn’t realize it at the time, the heart of my outline manifested as a kind of framework. A framework that might otherwise be described as an abstract place of reference, and a compass that’s navigated me to writing this post today. In reviewing the two outlines, there’s a very miniscule, but invaluable revision.

  • Skill/s to master:
    1. Writing.
  • Skill/s to master:
    1. Writing.
    2. Videography.

Now, of course—as the mastery of any developing value system requires the discipline—I have yet to master either of these arts, but the point of the revision in my outline is the fact that I wrote those specific skills of profession down with the intention to master them. The writing them down with intention is key. And while unpaid as a writer of this site, also unpaid as a content creator uploading YouTube videos on various “experimental” (most failed) channels I’d created over the past few years; the evidence of providence that this site means to represent gives me the privilege to tell you that my foot is now in the door as a professional video editor. But hold on! I’m just getting started! It took 5 months after writing out that revised outline before becoming a paid video editor. Much has happened over the course of 7 months since that outline.

OUTLINE

  • [12/16/20] Jesus Christ is my belief structure.
    1. [12/16/20] What does that mean? (Salvation).
    1. [12/16/20] Human soul and God.
    2. [7/14/21] What is the relationship between a person’s soul and God?
      1. [12/16/20] Saved by grace through faith.
      2. [7/14/21] Featured photo of this post update is an example of my work in developing frameworks that workout abstractions and understand axioms for righteous behavior.
  • [12/16/20] How does faith work?
    • [7/14/21] This outline is proving an example of how faith works.
  • [12/16/20] I love my wife—priority.
    1. [12/16/20] She is the core/center of my responsibilities.
    2. [7/14/21] This has not changed although a much needed constant reminder.
      1. [12/16/20] I need structure.
        1. [12/16/20] Public Journal/accountability
          • [7/14/21] This post marks a good direction in structure and accountability.
  • [12/16/20] Job with hours to aid me on this trajectory.
  • [7/14/21] Trajectory of James 5:19-20
    1. [12/16/20] Not ideal, but blessed.
      1. [12/16/20] I work nights and days.
        1. [12/16/20] Best option at the moment.
        2. [12/16/20] Aim for only nights if available.
          1. [7/14/21] I’m currently working a night shift!
        3. [12/16/20] Or learn how to write, like, very good!
          1. [7/14/21] Still a work in progress, but progressive nonetheless.
  • [12/16/20] Psychology Professor—Jordan Peterson.
    1. [12/16/20] Mentor/Maps of Meaning/(biblical skeptic?)
      1. [12/16/20] I think Jordan’s strategy to understand ‘meaning’ is awesome!
  • [12/16/20] My personality— understand and improve.
    • [7/14/21]
    • Agreeableness: 85
      1. Compassion: 96
      2. Politeness: 45
    • Conscientiousness: 35
      1. Industriousness: 44
      2. Orderliness: 30
    • Extraversion: 99
      1. Enthusiasm: 96
      2. Assertiveness: 98
    • Neuroticism: 92
      1. Withdrawal: 72
      2. Volatility: 97
    • Openness to Experience: 75
      1. Intellect: 28
      2. Openness: 95
  • [12/16/20] 1 Peter 3:15 (but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;)
    1. [12/16/20] There is a hope in the personality of a believer.
    2. [7/14/21] See above…
      1. [12/16/20] My personality is wild; I want to understand it.
      2. [7/14/21] See above…
  • [12/16/20] Skill/s to master:
    1. [12/16/20] Writing.
      • [7/14/21] Still writing.
    2. [12/16/20] Videography.
      • [7/14/21] Continually developing my skill in the field – video editor.
  • [12/16/20] Goal/s…
    • [12/16/20] Is there more than one?
    • [7/14/21] Yes.
      • [12/16/20] Where is the sacred ground?
      • [7/14/21] It’s between the spoken and written Word given from the Spirit above to emerge from the soul beneath as truth.
        • [12/16/20] What is this going to do?
        • [7/14/21] …
          • [12/16/20] How will this be effective?
          • [7/14/21] Look from where you started to where you are, and analyze.
            • [12/16/20] What is the sacrifice?
              • [12/16/20] Will the practice, preach?
                • [12/16/20] What does it mean?
                  • [12/16/20] When is it time to plant?
  • [12/16/20] The seed is to sanctify Christ as Lord in my heart.

Have you outlined the heart of your vision and mission in life on this earth? If you haven’t, then let this post be a coach to you, and encourage you. Keep striving toward your goals with faith, and expect the providence of God.


RESOURCES


Relevant Posts

“…who takes away the sin of the world!”

Read Me First

“The next day he *saw Jesus coming to him and *said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!”—John 1:29

—(Elijah) John the Baptist
Matthew 17:11 And He answered and said, “Elijah is coming and will restore all things; 12 but I say to you that Elijah already came, and they did not recognize him, but did to him whatever they wished. So also the Son of Man is going to suffer at their hands.” 13 Then the disciples understood that He had spoken to them about John the Baptist. 

MY FOCUS

As I focus on these journal entry posts, I learn and understand more about myself and my deepest concern, the salvation of souls. Ever since I’ve heard and believed in the gospel, the question of whether someone is saved or not has always been at the core of my desire to understand. More on that in other posts.

In my previous post, which is a building block to this one, I wrote, “God didn’t create me to be good or evil, or even to be as in-between—under the curse of sin as a sinner while alive by the grace of God to exist separate from Him (And thank God for that!).” Which has compelled me to expound.

GOOD OR EVIL, OBSERVE:

  • Thinking about whether God created me to be good or evil?

I don’t think God created me to be good or evil, meaning there is a difference between ‘knowing good and evil‘ and ‘being good or evil‘. God saw all that He had made, then declared it ‘all‘ as … ‘very good‘; that didn’t mean that what He created innocent from the knowledge of good and evil to be limited by that innocence as programmed robots without risk, eating that fruit to have the knowledge of good and evil, of which existed altogether in harmony with the Lord God in the garden of Eden.

So sin existed in consequence of God warning Adam and Eve not to eat, or surely they would die (Genesis 2:17 but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.”), and since Adam and Eve ate that fruit we all die because God means what He says; God is Holy and Just to execute the punishment deemed worthy of those attributes against His enemies. When mankind disobeyed God, we became enemies of God that reaps the consequences of that disobedience, and so therefore, we all suffer death.

1 Corinthians 15:22 For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive.

CREATED AS A SINNER?

I’m confident that God didn’t create me to be a sinner, which was what I meant by “in-between”—forever separated from God in the prison of death and Hades if it had-been that Adam ate from the tree of life (Genesis 3:22 Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—) to live forever in the consequence of our due penalty and present state of death; It would be miserable if this world of suffering … is without end, (Revelation 1:18 and the living One; and I was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of death and of Hades.).

Thank God for Jesus taking away the sin of the world!

  • Thinking about what it means to be separated from God?

I know that I’m separated from God through knowledge gained by experience in this flesh and blood of sin and death under the grace of God (1 Corinthians 15:26 The last enemy that will be abolished is death.) by guilt that is incapable of inheriting the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 15:50 Now I say this, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable.). Truth testifies to the death that I am dying as the last enemy to God yet to be abolished by the return of Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 4:15 For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.).

SO AGAIN I SAY!

THANK GOD FOR HIS LAMB!

So all that to say that when Jesus took away the sin of the world at the cross as the Lamb of God, all entered into a new covenant of which saves us through faith.

The gift of God does not come without responsibility, that is to say, without repentance; repentance is experienced through much discipline by the Helper—the Holy Spirit (John 14:25 “These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you. 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.). (John 16:6 But because I have said these things to you, grief has filled your heart. 7 But I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I am leaving; for if I do not leave, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. And He, when He comes, will convict the world regarding sin, and righteousness, and judgment: 9 regarding sin, because they do not believe in Me; 10 and regarding righteousness, because I am going to the Father and you no longer are going to see Me; 11 and regarding judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.).

Who is the ruler of this world?

I’ll leave that to build on in the next post.

Matthew 17:11 And He answered and said, “Elijah is coming and will restore all things; 12 but I say to you that Elijah already came, and they did not recognize him, but did to him whatever they wished. So also the Son of Man is going to suffer at their hands.” 13 Then the disciples understood that He had spoken to them about John the Baptist.

Lamb of God

INTRODUCTION

Hi my name is Nathan, and welcome to my blog if we don’t know each other and it’s your first time here. This past Friday – Sunday (April 2-4, 2021) was not only a memorial time for me personally, but for this world even if the world hates knowing it (John 7:7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it, that its deeds are evil.).

How this is personal to me is what you’ll read as each of these particular posts with the featured photo describes my experience with the Lamb of God. There is so much on my heart and mind that needs worked out; the freedom to write whenever throughout the day is such an awesome exercise for doing just that, working out my salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12 So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.). And so what is my hope by this exercise?

My hope is that you, the reader, will discover new insights along with me about the Word of God by our common devotion to Jesus Christ our Lord. If you love the Lord, you’ve come to the “write” place, and I’m so excited to go through the trials of discipline with you as we discover more of our Savior together until we’re resurrected to life with Him by the glory, wisdom, and power, of God.

LAMB OF GOD

“The next day he *saw Jesus coming to him and *said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!”

—John 1:29

Now although the Bible doesn’t explicitly say from the book of Genesis that it was an innocent lamb slaughtered for the covering of Adam and Eve ( Genesis 3:21 The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife, and clothed them.); I believe it was an innocent lamb—by the fact that Jesus was identified as “the Lamb of God”—that clothed Adam and Eve, symbolizing the grace of God later to be revealed as Jesus of Nazareth who took away the sin of the world by being slaughtered on that cross (Matthew 20:18 “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem; and the Son of Man will be delivered to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn Him to death, 19 and will hand Him over to the Gentiles to mock and scourge and crucify Him, and on the third day He will be raised up.”).

Why is the Lamb of God relevant to Adam and Eve?

The reason I believe the Lamb of God is relevant to Adam and Eve is because of the plan and process in which God accomplished to save us from our curse that eternally separates us from God, having been held captive to the rogue nature of a good serpent which manifests as … sin. I say “good serpent” to mean what God said when He created all things, and saw all things to be very good—including the crafty serpent in which He made (Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?). Which then begs the question…

If God is good, and if God is Love, how was it possible for an eternally good creature, created by an eternally loving God, turn from it’s own created nature as good, to be evil by deceiving Eve?

The answer, discovered with faith in Jesus Christ, is learned by the experience of spiritual discipline, but found in the book of Ezekiel (28:14 “You were the anointed cherub who covers, And I placed you there. You were on the holy mountain of God; You walked in the midst of the stones of fire. 15 “You were blameless in your ways From the day you were created Until unrighteousness was found in you.). Unless created beings were created to be robots of self-awareness, it doesn’t make sense that I would have the choice to be evil or good.

Therefore, I know that I wasn’t born as a created robot of self-awareness by the fact that I have the knowledge of good and evil; I can do either good or evil, but the choice comes with a risk. God didn’t create me to be good or evil, or even to be as in-between—under the curse of sin as a sinner while alive by the grace of God to exist separate from Him (And thank God for that!). So by the Lamb (grace) of God, I have the freedom to be good or evil at will – by the knowledge of both – but again, not without risk. According to this verse Genesis 3:22 Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—; I can either be good, or be evil, as both of these archetypes are evident in my soul to breathe both influences.

By archetypes I mean Jesus Christ and Satan; Jesus Christ is good, and Satan is evil, both of which are alive in my life as the knowledge of the truth bears witness to the condition of my soul; truth is recognized by my awareness of the curse in me through Adam as a sinner dying in sin, having sinned against the Word of God from the very beginning in Adam.

All human flesh and blood of Adam and Eve since the very beginning does not inherit the kingdom of God—hence the Lamb of God. I have more to build on from here, soon…

#HEBEROSEN!

Good morning, it’s 8:00 on the 4th of April in Dallas Tx, but 8 hours away in Jerusalem, Israel… it’s 4:00 in the afternoon! We’re waking up way behind schedule! Everyone on social media is like,

“HE IS RISEN!!!”

While the Jews in Israel *shaking heads* saying, “Americans…” “God have mercy.” Jesus is at the right hand of power … *tapping watch* … “Is this thing broken? I thought I rose hours ago?” Jesus already rose, and early that day nearly 2000 years ago, so why not we consider changing the American language of our culture, and say,

He be ROSEN!”

See now that! That has a “ring” to it! He be rosen up in dis house, you feel me! Now let me just correct the gospel real quick, Matthew 28:6 He is not here, for [He be rosen up in dis house], just as He said. Come, see the place where He was lying. There! Perfect!

WE ARE FREE!!!

I mean how exciting is it to proclaim to the world our freedom from sin! Come take a look see! Matthew 28:7 And go quickly and tell His disciples that [HE BE ROSEN] from the dead; and behold, He is going ahead of you to Galilee. There you will see Him; behold, I have told you.”

SO YO!

WE HAVE THE VICTORY!

I mean Jesus gave us the victory over sin and death through the provision of a sustainable belief structure and system! How awesome is that???!!! We are no longer chained to sin that condemns us to the wrath of God unless we’ve denied the gift of our faith through Jesus Christ!


1 Corinthians 15:56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the Law; 57 but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brothers and sisters, be firm, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. (bold/italics/underline | mine)


So since Jesus be rosen in my heart, my hope is secure as my faith produces the qualities of His attributes while I die to myself for the sake of following Jesus Christ by the truth of His gospel—repentance unto eternal life!

THAT BETTER GET YOU FIRED UP!

Man do I hope that the world will hear and believe this good news, even at the prophetic words that reveal a truth difficult to bear—not all will receive, although all will hear to bow at the truth, and yet—my hope remains even at the knowledge of the truth that reveals the end before its beginning. I recognize with growing awareness that glows a very severe and fatal warning to this gift of my salvation shared with followers of the WAY, power with which words identify the place where the unbelieving soul remains consumed by condemnation … Hell.

Am I the only one that experiences the measure and weight of such words with power to shift the conscience from the perspective of victory to a perspective of grief at the thought of loss by a people choosing their denial by faith supplied to all for salvation? No… surely not. My friend and brother of the faith Draoun can tell you all about grief! That brother has been such a tremendous encouragement to me; he understands grief at a very different level, and has helped me understand the necessary process of grieving for healing. This pain doesn’t end in our flesh, but here comes more good news!

Revelation 21:3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among the people, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, 4 and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” (bold/italics/underline | mine)

Here we go!

AN EMOTIONAL WAVE!

Let the wave of grief run its course as it crashes into its boundary limit just as God declared to Job!

Job 38:
“Or who enclosed the sea with doors
When, bursting forth, it went out from the womb;
When I made a cloud its garment
And thick darkness its swaddling band,
10 And I placed boundaries on it
And set a bolt and doors,
11 And I said, ‘Thus far you shall come, but no farther;
And here shall your proud waves stop’?

Bear in mind the glory of God by His grace and peace through faith in Jesus Christ our Lord!

WE BE ROSEN!

When Jesus Christ ascended into glory at the right hand of God, He brought us with Him according to faith in Him by the promise of His Word—eternal life. Therefore I pray my heart, mind, soul, and strength, keep the commandment to believe in Him for as long as He sustains me to serve our living God! Amen.

Just some journal writing, hope you experience more grace and peace in the knowledge of God and of Jesus, our Lord.

From thoughts to literature, and the AD 2021 passover

Ever since Winter Storm Uri, my blog writing has slowed down rather drastically—as you might have noticed since February—although that’s not ‘all‘ the reason. I’ve been experiencing a dramatic shift … an edification, that once begun is not undone, of which has caused me pause and thus, here we are: I love how Thaddeus, a stone cutter and follower of Jesus the Nazarene, (played by Giavani Cairo in The Chosen season 1 episode 5 series) describes the purification jars as Jesus works a miracle of changing water into wine.

“Once you make that first cut into the stone, it can’t be undone. It sets in motion a series of choices, what used to be a shapeless block of limestone or granite begins’ its long journey of transformation, and it will never be the same.”

—Thaddeus (The Chosen S1:E5)

That best describes what I’ve been experiencing recently while, conversing with friends and family, investigating, praying, studying and memorizing—Scripture! I’ve been deeply moved to record and share at a more personal level with the T4P audience, and so, much like that first cut into the stone setting in motion a series of choices, is exactly what this post means to do. The miracle of Jesus changing water into wine is what God does with each of us as we believe in the Son of God. We are living miracles undergoing transformation by faith in what Jesus did on the cross some 2000 years ago; He was at rest silent in a tomb where nobody saw or heard the Word, the ears and eyes of Israel and Rome were deaf and blind until tomorrow morning in Jerusalem.

ARE YOU READY?!

NATHAN’S JOURNAL 2021 — Winter Storm Uri | VI

I’ve missed you people! Or well I’ve missed the meditative prayerful thoughts of you people when writing! There is a time for everything the Preacher says, and it was time for my writing to be on hold during last week’s winter storm “Uri” for the care of my family. But we’re okay! We’re alive … sort of!

I’ve had a little longer than a week to think about some things, ‘thinking’ can be quite dangerous if not spiritually healthy, and by healthy, I mean, trusting in the Holy Spirit of God to guide, even and especially when nothing makes sense: Like how does – “The Electric Reliability Council of Texas (ERCOT) manages scheduling on an electric grid carrying 90 percent of Texas’ load.” – resolve the issue of people freezing to death if the math forecasts dead cold temperatures upon us (said playfully to mean a very serious problem)? Not that I’m complaining, necessarily, because my faith is in Christ my Lord and Savior while being Texas proud, but being without power intermittently and for longer than 24hrs in freezing temperatures does cause pause, not to mention caring for someone sick—in a COVID stigmatized nation—to “help” our situation. So … needless to say; I’ve been thinking … “time to go off grid?!”

I did actually think that though, to go off grid, and even brainstormed with Laura (my wife) on how to go about doing that while camped out in our living room with my mother-in-law to try and stay warm. We had candles lit all around us like we’re performing some sort of witch craft or something—”you should’ve seen it! We made my mother-in-law levitate off the couch in subzero temperatures and everything! It was awesome!” (I’m definitely getting in trouble for that joke). But while freezing to death, decided to reach out to every Christian Texan on the cost of going off grid as a way of protest … unfortunately … it would ultimately mean war. That’s me confessing how my thoughts can take shape to form dangerous ideas in the wake of difficult circumstances if not governed by the Holy Spirit of God.

front yard

Anyway, apart from uneducated thoughts, my Christian brothers and sisters did take great care of us while in the midst of this Uri storm. I’m eternally grateful for Christian community! Going on 24+ hrs with no power, a Christian family of close Christian friends invited us into their warm home until our power was restored and remained on. They even took us in at the risk of one of us having COVID.

No one should deny the magnificent beauty through a costly storm as the language of it’s existence declares the scientific presence of God.

neighborhood “park”

This storm called life is not over, and thank God for that! The experience of being alive should not be taken for granted, nor used to deny it’s Author. God is with us no matter what storm we are going through, but will the person reading this trust in the testimony of that truth? Man, I hope so! Jesus died, was buried, and rose on the third day taking away the sin of the world, defeating death! The Word of God is declaring His coming judgement, and if you died today … are you ready? I’m excited to write again, thank You Lord! I’ll leave you with this scripture to think about:

John 16:7 But I tell you the truth, it is to your advantage that I go away; for if I do not go away, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. 8 And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment; 9 concerning sin, because they do not believe in Me; 10 and concerning righteousness, because I go to the Father and you no longer see Me; 11 and concerning judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.

“Truth without love is ice cold.”

Nathan Dooley

Ecclesiastes 3

Nathan’s Public Journal | I

Monday, 12/7/2020

Here I sit, cameras in view, the time for me to be off duty is fast approaching. It’s nearly 06:00 (military time) coming off of a 12hr deep night shift during the weekend. My occupation is as a level 2 Private Security Officer and my work schedule is not ideal, but it’s currently the closest to my preference considering the options; this schedule fits my focus at this duration of my life. That focus is … well, we’ll get to that, but right now I’m still getting over this cringe.

I didn’t realize just how, hmmm … damaged I was, until re-reading some of my material of old. I can see where my mind would get stuck in the trauma of my past; a lot of my first posts I’d published nearly 3 years ago are written in a language of which feels, irreconcilable. I think, needless to say, I’m thankful for the grace—to be ever learning through undeveloped skills—of inexperience; the mistakes are endless, and that’s frustrating (I learn hands-on). However, there is a story in my mess waiting to be written, just not yet. Alright—time to head home.

So… now I hope, is as good-a-time as any to welcome you to my journal. If you’ve followed along with me (I know those of you who have) until now, you know this about me. I’ve been thinking about this journal idea for too long now (like yesterday—that’s a joke); writing happens to be very therapeutic for me, so uh… thank you, Therapist, I guess. This idea is much-much more than a therapy session you get to sit in on to hear all about my life’s drama. It will be an empirical psychology, only it’s written to be watched through the lens of intuition and imagination that writing/reading ignites!

Psychology—according to wordnik—at its core; the study of the human soul. And there is where I’m going to learn how my salvation is alive! I don’t know about you, but I want to understand my soul. And more than that, I want to understand the relationship between salvation of the human soul and God. I want to learn about what my belief structure means; I found someone in the field of psychology, a mentor. I’m exercising (like working out in the gym or fitness center) the weight of the gospel in my conscience. So I thought, “Well, what if my ‘T4P’ people want to keep a watchful eye on this progress and quite possibly, discover something of their own by this as well?” A big part of this idea goes out to Dallas Fluegel (check em out on YouTube) because I really like how he has structured—is structuring—himself by his videos, and want to apply that to my life.

Tuesday, 12/8/2020

What if you could understand your personality?

Function the way that you do?

Feel the way that you feel?

Does that not sound absolutely terrifying, it’s so awesome! Anyway, there are reasons I behave the way I do as soon as I wake-up into this world of causality that provides insight into who Nathan is and why he is, the way he is. I want to tap into that meaning of myself, so… here it goes. *Let’s make this a page turner.