Divided

It’s sad to reach a point in life when the thought of hell seems much more appealing than to remain in the skin of your flesh. When the thought of escape is your only option, but are petrified. When a call for help is not meant for saving.

I don’t hate my life. But that unreliable feeling of hate sure is poking and prodding. What I hate is being divided by the questions and doubts of people that presume to know me when they don’t have a clue; there is just not enough time in the world to be completely free with people that choose not to believe they can trust you unless you adhere to their “divine” perception for you, then they might believe. As long as you stay within their realm of interpretation and perception.

It’s incredible the amount of attention you will draw to demons when living for your faith “Jesus as Lord” by recognizing sin for what it is and how I’m in desperate need of salvation. It’s incredible the sirens and temptations in place just for you. It’s a constant crouching (Genesis 4:7):

“Those people see you as a tyrant. That woman wants you. That man desires you. Do this to get rich. Say that to make a difference. You’re a sexy beast, well endowed, who can resist. It feels good to be right. It feels good to have power. You’re a liar. You’re a fraud, poser, fake, and the list goes on because you’re unworthy. Don’t waste my time. You have our undivided attention. Look at him, he is better than you in every way. You’re smart and beautiful, but ugly and stupid too. I feel depressed. You’re unstable, unfit, unqualified. Here is your kingdom of heaven! No, there it is!”

I ask myself, “why is this happening?” But it only makes sense. Because…demons are taking the time the world does not have to get to know you and me. Whether the world or I want to believe that or not, the truth sets us free. I hate this spiritual war that divides my soul and blood into pieces as bread for demons and wine for their minions. If you are a believer in the gospel of Jesus Christ, you’ll understand this war, but if not then I hope this will prick at your conscience because you’re held captive thinking you’re free.

They are clever. The devil and his demons … but I see them. And they know that I see them. “It’s a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31). I’m in hell learning the tips and tricks of insanity navigating my way through the crowd in hope to save some if not all, “have you heard…“.

It’s sad…

Nathan Dooley