Chemistry

“Whoa!”.  “What is this, I feel!?”.  “I didn’t like you, but now… It’s real!”.  “What is this… Chemistry?  ‘It’s foreign.'”.  “Where did it come from?”.  “I see you, you see me.”.  “Our mouths are not moving, but the truth ‘speaks’.”.  “I’m convicted, ‘flee!’.”.  “But the passion of my heart burns to see!”. “Who says ‘no’ to this ecstasy?”.  “So where is my ‘angle’?”.  “When is the time and how will I know?”.  “This ‘taste’, to be liked.”.  “I’m sought to be known!”.  “The venom is piercing from vein to bone!”.  “I’m losing control!”.  “Help me, God!”.  “There’s nowhere to go!”. 

Profile

Adolescence, doesn’t seem to fit the profile of it’ definition.  There is a period between puberty into maturity, but at what age is the point of maturity?  Although I didn’t reach puberty until a junior in high school.  I was educated by design that procreation was pleasure.  I was not educated about the spiritual meaning.  Marriage is a covenant.  The pleasures of this life are fleeting.  So I occupied myself with mischievous thoughts and fantasies of malpractice.  I think our adolescent profiles need to change, or rather, become educated about the spiritual aspect to our adolescence.  Reader, I’ll need your help if you agree.  If we had been educated about the spiritual aspect of our changing nature and desire during youth could have prevented a series of mistakes that effect everything.  But without you, Reader.  Can a spec of dust effect the vast universe of particles?  After all, that is all of what I am.  A spec of dust; vapor in the wind (if you will), amidst the cosmic order of creation.  So the purpose to influence a person or society with change is next to hitting the lottery, in comparison.  What is the protocol for telling people about their salvation by way of Jesus Christ sending the Holy Spirit into their life?  The “instruction manual” (Bible) for this procedure is very difficult to understand without someone to teach me the truth about my nature and desires.  I’ll need help.

Scenario

Have you ever been unexpectedly forgiven, loved and cherished after confessing certain truths about mistakes that were made?  Knowing already, that the answer to your own question is “undeserving of forgiveness and justifiably deemed unworthy of deliverance from whatever the consequence”?  I have been unexpectedly forgiven.  Reader, my prayer is that you’ll know for yourself, “…have mercy on me, a sinner.”.  My saint of a grandmother forgave me from what I deserved.  Why?  I didn’t deserve a place in her life.  She had every right to send me on my way.  But, she gave me life.  It has been difficult for me to make sense of this.  I’d taken advantage of her gift to care; shelter over my head, clothes on my back, food in my belly, and water to quench the flame.  I “snuck” a lesbian[?] stripper into her home.  And that is but one scenario among others to my shame.  In the processes of my weaknesses; God granted me mercy, forgiveness, and is still healing me to His glory.  I pray this post finds you in your struggle as not only telling you “I can relate”, but that Jesus related beyond relation to the extent of dying… experiencing this place of death although innocent.  Sin is not worth the troubled whispers of lies that only prove a fearful expectation.  There is an expected award for obedience which also means an expected consequence for disobedience.  No different than our prisons in this life, am confident of a prison in the next.  The church is the devils playground; salvation is the game, and vulnerability, his poise.  I see more and more teachers, leaders, and preachers pressed to the limit of their heart’ desires and pride as “untouched by sin because of grace”.  My spirit aches and mourns because of unconfessed sins.  People that fear their own reputation instead of God.  

Secretary

Will the King of a palace say to his trusted counsel, -“Help!  My ‘eye’ is on a woman that is not the Queen”-.  And will the counsel dare reply the King, -“We will pluck that woman out, my King! It is a sin against God; turn from it, and be healed.”-.  Now with the Spirit of God, the Secretary perceived the King’s desire and said to herself, -“God, how should I move, or should I? The King’s eye is upon me. What of my husband? ‘Would he listen or be willing to understand?’. And… what of our family?”-.  This Secretary is the “breadwinner” of her family and the husband a stay at home dad.  This King is good looking and could position this Secretary as Queen.  The Queen says, -“God, my God, thank you for leaving Your palace for the sake of my salvation. Please teach me how You are to be honored in my marriage and position to this throne. Give my Husband the wisdom to lead as You have served.”.  The palace of this kingdom has been compromised by lust but each character has a decision to be made.  Every character is at risk of having to sacrifice something; reputation (eye), life, wealth, and love.

Help

Reader, you are reading this post for a reason.  I’m thankful for the relationship we can have even in this connection of “words on screen”.  I’ve underestimated the power of escape that God provides through knowing His Son by way of the Holy Spirit.  There is always an escape from the desire of sinful practice luring beneath the surface of our skin.  There is a consequential experience (awakening) to a reality that was left covered for a reason.  The mystery to life beyond the grave is real.  My conscience has been torn and ripped apart too many times to sit around for a “well spoken of” reputation that remains enslaved to evil devices common to man.  There is an escape!  Because my God says so!