Tag Archives: story

MACHINE

Good morning reader… it might not be morning by the time I finish this writing but that’s alright. I pray all is well. I’m feeling much better today, a little sore throat and some coughing, but my strength is coming back! That’s good news! I’m thankful to rest even though it’s not in my nature to rest like this, I don’t like being isolated. I’m a dagum peacock and I need to fly!

Alright, I’m thinking we continue on the “breakthrough” journey.

In the previous post you’ll get an idea of the functions for our body, soul, and spirit, that make up our entire Person (Being) – and I want to go deeper starting with what I’ll probably refer to a lot as mine and your “machine”, the body.

This is where I hope to bring back full circle my experience as an engineer (salvational engineering) to provide the reader with a unique perspective when applying diagnostics to a person’s spiritual well-being and eternal salvation. I also believe this framework will be an excellent resource; having the knowledge of the truth is very important, but what good is an engineer with knowledge of the truth yet without the skill of love to apply that knowledge to a machine broken by lies? The engineer is useless without the skill of love and tools to apply his or her knowledge of the truth!

So next… let’s talk about our machines!

BREAKTHROUGH

“Blog Log 1 – Location: Dallas, TX. … “ That’s what I feel my experience is on this first day of quarantine, a log to hold my morale accountable. 

It only took a year but COVID caught me. The experience is surreal having only heard of the experiences surrounding this virus and its variants to now experiencing it for myself. I felt asymptomatic for the most part, but this virus is deceptive in nature; when you think you’re okay and move about like normal it’s all of a sudden the unexpected weight hits you like a train as dramatic as that sounds, but when you’re in bed sweating profusely and too weak to make sense of what’s happening…it’s not dramatic at all, it’s “chilling” to say the least.

While this virus has the capacity to kill my body it does not have the capacity to destroy my soul unless granted to compromise my morale to the degree of renouncing my faith in Christ which makes for a great opportunity to continue on my endeavor to present my breakthrough.

BREAKTHROUGH

1 Thessalonians 5:23
Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

The spirit and soul and body make up the entire Person, and each has a distinct function. 

My body is at the “Outer Courtyard” (outer court) of my entire Person; it’s here where the law in my body holds me prisoner to death, and my body is dead because of sin. As long as I’m putting to death the deeds of my body I’ll live—otherwise I’m living according to my flesh, and I must die. 


My soul is at the “Holy Place” (inner court) of my entire Person; it’s here where it’s psychological, and my soul has three major components: emotion, logic, and will, or heart, mind, and wisdom. I have a responsibility to the condition of my soul through faith—otherwise my soul is condemned through sin.


My spirit is at the innermost part of my entire Person, the “Holy of Holies” (hidden court) if you will; it’s here where the governance of God dwells, and my spirit is how I contact God if the Spirit of Christ is in me—otherwise my spirit is in contact with that which is evil. 

I Thessalonians 3:12-13
And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love toward another, and toward all men, even as we do toward you: To the end He may establish your hearts unblamable in holiness before God, even our Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all His saints.

I will know what kind of spirit I have by what kind of fruit I bear. I will also know what kind of spirit someone else has by the fruit they bear.

…TO SECURITY TO ENGINEERING TO ENTREPRENEUR TO…

READ FIRST


So there I was, without a job and free to do whatever again… I thought about seeing if my old position in the Public Services department (City of Richardson) as a Water Production (SCADA) operator was available, or to go back to engineering, but my heart has always been geared toward mission work! I just hadn’t known how it was going to come about. 

Laura and I prayed and waited a month before I would go back to Security Guard work; bear in mind that I’d been working random shifts on the GaurdTexas team through a friend/ Operations Manager (Boss Man) who kept me in the loop for Security work throughout Dallas. God’s providence is very real! 

So that’s what I did, I decided to go back to being a humble security guard with a plan to work the night shift. The days are too distracting for what I needed to sort out and not only that, I needed time to learn premiere pro. I’ve always enjoyed shooting video to create content, and to my surprise Laura wanted to join me on an adventure to video editing work through a friend you’ll know or discover if you stick around on this site, aka Dallas. The man is so good at what he does, especially when it comes to loving his family and others! Dallas blessed us with work, entrusting us to his guidance and direction as we got our feet wet in that field through him.

Now there’s a question that’s been beckoning…

“So why not go to bible college and or seminary?” MAN—that’s the question! Isn’t it! The answer is not a simple one for me and really, I think it might be controversial which is not my intention for it to be, but I have my concerns about that approach to “ordination” because of some trauma from my past, I don’t trust it.

Fast forward to January of 2022 when a breakthrough happened when fellowshiping with a friend over…

1 Thessalonians 5:23

Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.

COUNT THE COST

There was a time… a time when I transitioned from a site supervising security officer to an engineer of a 14-story class double “AA” office tower that required knowledge around high end M&E (Mechanical and Electrical) equipment to manage through SCADA systems alongside my chief engineer. These machines were the power of the Tower, everything was programmed to turn on and off at specific times: lights on, air moving, water flowing, and doors secure.

The environment was damn near perfect for any and all the fortune 500 companies. A fortress of success and cutting edge technology… What could go wrong? As long as the condition was perfect my job was humbly making keys, eliminating odors from p-traps, painting, changing ceiling tiles, etc. And it was during that time as an engineer I became inspired by an idea. I decided to start a ministry called “Salvational Engineering” where I would pick up trash around our little place in the hood. 

The idea was to prune the ministry by hitting every neighboring’ hood encompassed around mine—and you wouldn’t believe some of the things I found as trash, or actually… you just might!

So while that was in the making, a friend of mine invited me to help him on a move. I thought it was just me helping a friend; I tried to refuse payment, but he insisted on paying me for the hard work. And it was HARD work! Moving is no joke!

Then the friend called me again for a move, then again, again, and again. As this became something of a normal thing I saw the potential my friend had to do something about this moving thing and planted the idea of him starting a moving company; to which if he did, I’d be his right hand. Next thing I know we’re free falling, quitting our careers to pursue this entrepreneurial thing; it was grind time, everything changed! Salvational Engineering quickly faded into the background and eventually was set aside for an unexpected future resurrection.

At this junction the risk became surreal when my friend and I didn’t get that expected direct deposit into our accounts. We had to get side jobs to stay afloat: stained fences, landscaped – from planting flowers to cutting down trees – and then beating up rich people… ask Fred! (I’m joking). The business grew and grew, beyond our expectations, it was amazing to see how God took care of us at every turn, overcoming every obstacle. My wife was able to quit her job for us to focus on making them babies, but then… guess what happened! I’d later get terminated due to a story for another time…

Nathan preparing to recruit and my “conscience” (wife) interrupting 😂.

I know, the suspense will kill but long story short; we’d worked out our problem with another christian brother because after all we’re members of the same body in Christ. I was invited to come back as part of the Swan Moving Services team but had decided that continuing on that journey wasn’t worth the potential destruction of our friendship.

The principle that was crucial for me to understand before anything and everything else was that as believers I belonged to Christ before the business, relationship, and especially my own soul! I am going to teach you what that means and how to meet that principle as the story continues. Remember the machines that keep the power in the Tower; we function like machines, and the power in our “Tower’s” is the Spirit of God if the Spirit of Christ dwells in us (Romans 8).

James 3:1

“Do not become teachers in large numbers, my brothers, since you know that we who are teachers will incur a stricter judgment.”

I have a responsibility, especially in the trouble of today, to be humble before the Holy Spirit as He helps me navigate from the sin of past experiences to the discipline of our heavenly Father. I have believed and am believing with enduring faith in trials and temptations of this present evil age, humbled to suffer in the name of Jesus Christ as a son of God. Discipline hurts but produces the trait of humility and fruit of righteousness which is of heavenly value through Jesus Christ exalted as head over all.

So there I was, free to do whatever again…


READ NEXT

THE DEVELOPING STORY OF HIS INNOVATION AND HER ADMINISTRATION

Okay, so 12oz’ of coffee this morning and it tastes… so… good!

In the time past I was encouraged as having the qualities of a type of life coach but didn’t take it seriously enough to make it a career choice until last year when Dallas—who you know from this site unless you don’t, please do get to know him because he’s someone you won’t ever want to forget—encouraged me to look into it. So I did, and the seed was planted, but my focus was on developing my skill in premiere pro until landing work in the realm of video as an editor alongside my wife. But here’s the thing, I get “innovative and creative” with rules where Laura abides by the rules with a kind of precision that, well… frustrates me—in a good way (quick recovery)—because of the balance it enforces on me between us, without it I would fly away into the valley of the shadow of death. I “break” (bend) rules and cross lines where Laura keeps and walks them with absolute integrity! I love her! She’s a recommended video editor where I’m still working on abiding by the rules following her guidance. She’s an excellent leader, administrator! I’m truly blessed!

Ah man… there’s the alarm for my next destination!

MY DILEMMA

Sitting here at my office again with a stack of books and gingerbread flavored coffee; I just finished another chapter of the book I’m reading; my goal is to have 6 books read by the end of this month. And without going into detail, it’s not likely I’ll finish, nor that simple, but it’s a good goal to aim for. Although this goal is not something I can take credit for, it was inspired through a friend, mentor, and writing coach; thank you Neizan.

My office happens to be outside this time, same coffee spot, and the weather is perfect for our story although bound to change according to the wind advisory notification prompted earlier from my phone, and a friend telling me their Google Nest reported a typhoon today. That’s alright, a little rain never hurt anyone… 

You might be able to help me solve my dilemma to this overwhelming desire to travel and see the world for a twofold purpose, (1) the pleasure and experience of it, and (2) christian evangelism—not in that order of course.
I think it might be more for the pleasure of it than for evangelism because you and I can reach the world through modern day technology, but let’s go a bit deeper by exploring the psychological element.

… Laura’s awake …

Time to leave the office, but I look forward to writing to you from home, Lord willing.

MY REJUVENATED EXPERIENCE

It was still dark and the mist dense this morning, but the weather was just right for walking. I felt different, more rejuvenated than usual—considering my schedule. Laura (my wife) fast asleep at home; I couldn’t resist the opportunity to take this time for myself after getting off from the graveyard shift to think on some things. And the things I thought organized into a plan of motivation for this next year, that, and Sunday’s service was brought up in a group text of friends—it was an awesome message over redemption from David Marvin at Watermark Community Church.

Now there is Christmas music in the background as I walk into my “office” (coffee spot) not too far from home with a Christmas tree of ornaments lit up, and several servers behind the counter skeptical of this guy that just walked in wearing all black, black cargo pants and a black panther hoodie as I find my place to sit down and get settled for some study and writing. One server had his eye on me, profiling me, until I looked up at him and waved. I’m a regular, they’ll know me when they actually see me.

There’s a guy reading a book behind me and lady with headphones in her ears rapid typing like her life depended on it to my left, and then there’s me and you, soaking in the environment for a story.

As I meditate on what a story means for people at different places around the world am found a little discouraged by the overwhelming amount of information flooding into my system to try and cope with understanding everything in light of my convictions, it’s not a new experience, but often forgotten until the research reminds me of the world so far outside myself. A world that seems unreachable, which is a false concept because the conviction of my belief in the Holy Spirit assures me of His providential agency that reaches the entire world for the salvation of all who would call on the name of the Lord—Jesus Christ.

What’s comforting is having the readiness to serve where the Spirit leads, and so here we are— well, I think you know what I mean (I’m curious as to where you really are), but reading and writing is such an awesome medium to influence the world with our new lives in Christ, which is so much more than a romance story. It’s every genre story!

Sky Building

“It’s inconveni—” Lathan stops his loud whisper, sensing the shifted eyes at his direction, the previously distracted crowd now projecting all kinds of curses.

Immediately Lathan thinks; “I’m an idiot.”

Aware of his audience, “Why am I even here?” As he gets up from the coffee bar simultaneously grabbing his drink in the direction of multiple double doors of the Sky Building until a shadow overcasts his presence with the greeters’ of the place, “Where do you think you’re going?”

These greeters are like 10′ tall and about 5,659 pounds thick. Lathan is a grasshopper in their sight.

So Lathan, out of fear for his life, said, “None of your gawdamn business is where I’m going!”—as he stares deep into their souls with the confidence of David when faced against Goliath and his brothers.

The greeters are so taken aback by such crazy boldness their reaction is hesitation and pause, not understanding what just happened as they calculate the issue.

Lathan takes a sip of his coffee, and then, proceeds toward the exit.

“That guy has foul mouth.” Lathan heard in his peripheral and thinks to himself, “Only if you knew the half of it, Hypocrites, trying to shut the way into the kingdom of heaven as you do yourselves, rather than entering therein as guides to those lost at sea.

FROM MY CORE – ESSAY 2

Granted there is a psychological element to this, an element that describes why I’m so concerned about the collective gathering we call Church, but it’s not the Church, rather, those with authority in the Church…

After reading back over my ESSAY 1 feel convicted to clarify ‘…collective gathering we call Church,…’ not to mean the negative connotation it can have; I guess the emotion I was experiencing when writing that was an annoyance at the idea of us—the Christian Church—as a “collective gathering” when we’re obviously a ‘divided gathering’ in the worst sense of division; so to call us ‘Church’ while divided in such a way makes zero sense to me. I don’t think it’s impossible to find us reconciled as a kingdom unit here on earth. Anyway…

MY CONCERN

The psychological element to my concern for the Church as a fellow member of the Body in the Bride of Christ partly stems from the scars of my past: series of divorces, there was physical and sexual abuse from a pastor and family members, the list feels like it gets darker and darker. I could make the case I was brought up by the devil’s schemes, and [ashamedly] have the arrogance to prove it. Does that pastor think himself justified; there is still no sign of sorrow or remorse that comes with conviction for repentance when guilty as sin. Will there be?

However, my experience to faith in God, although cultivated in a field of weeds…

24 Jesus gave them another parable [to consider], saying, “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field. 25 But while his men were sleeping, his enemy came and sowed [c]weeds [resembling wheat] among the wheat, and went away. 26 So when the plants sprouted and formed grain, the weeds appeared also. 27 The servants of the owner came to him and said, ‘Sir, did you not sow good seed in your field? Then how does it have weeds in it?’ 28 He replied to them, ‘An enemy has done this.’ The servants asked him, ‘Then do you want us to go and pull them out?’ 29 But he said, ‘No; because as you pull out the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. 30 Let them grow together until the harvest; and at harvest time I will tell the reapers, “First gather the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; but gather the wheat into my barn.”’”

Matthew 13 (AMP)

…is not governed by evil, because someone had come into our field during the day to sow the good seed of wheat!

Oh if I didn’t know any better, how easy it is to paint the victim. Let my sin be obvious and exposed. Where is my sorrow and remorse? Am I repenting from sin or do I embrace the chains? My war is not against flesh and blood, “…but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this [present] darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) places.” (Eph. 6:12). My aim will not miss the mark as long as my faith is in Jesus Christ; He is the authority and power! He is the Psychologist to my Psyche, the Foundation to my Structure, and Guide to my Compass!

What can sin do if it’s power be death when death was defeated at the cross of Christ? My concern for the members of the Christian Church is this idea that we’re not free from the chains the apostle Paul was chained in:

28 Then Agrippa said to Paul, “In a short time [and with so little effort] you [almost] persuade me to become a Christian.” 29 And Paul replied, “Whether in a short time or long, I wish to God that not only you, but also all who hear me today, might become such as I am, except for these chains.”

Acts 26 (AMP)

WE ARE FREE

I keep hearing pastors preach this idea that we can’t do anything about the sin we’ve been set free from, which is false. We’ve been set free by the salvation we have in Christ, and equipped upon belief with conversion to transformation—a gift given within Who convicts us of sin (the Holy Spirit of God). I am free to repent of my sin or not to, to respond to the Holy Spirit or not to; there is consequence and reward to right and wrong behavior, but it’s my faith, words and actions that reveal the nature about me. Do I have fruit that bears unbelief, or belief? My fruits will tell you everything about the condition of my body, psyche, and spirit. There are two distinct spirits…

DISCLAIMER:
Nathan Psychology: The study of oneself for righteous behavior, and my written perspective on the experiential process of edification to sanctification. What does it mean to be born of God, overcome the world, and be made new through faith in believing Jesus Christ is the way of my salvation? I’m discovering the path through spiritual discipline—

Nathan’s Public Journal | IV

Sunday, 12/20/2020

When the cleaning crew arrived, the majority are ladies, and they’re attractive.

As soon as I saw them come in to collect their keys for access; their bodies burned that red and fiery orange color that orbed around their physique, but there was something different; I could see a light brownish glow that came from their brain. This color was new, or… I didn’t recognize it before. And as they would get closer, and closer, to the security desk, that brownish color intensified to it’s darkest form.

After issuing them their keys, WarCof appears next to me and asks, “Why do you see that color?”

Ignoring WarCof, I escort them to the elevators of the second floor.

My security desk is stationed on the second floor of my building of 4; my building is located on the west wing also know as West Tower-2 (WT2). There are 24 floors to each of these 4 buildings, and they’re built perpendicular to each other: North, South, East, and West.

They were built in this way for its main attraction, which is a globe that hangs in the middle connecting each of these towers at the 12th floor.

The elevators have two sets of doors; the first set grants access to visitors, tenants, and vendors to the Towers; the second set will open exclusively for authorized personal to the globe, but no tenants, vendors, or visitors have access—making my job that much more fun—not even the third party management company that answers directly to GE, or God’s Eye, we call it, has access without security, into the globe.

GE stands for Global Earth, which is the company name of very powerful people I have yet to meet in person, and to the best of my knowledge the globe functions as a meeting lab for Avengers. Okay, well, not exactly. But it gives off that feel … considering the secrecy and philanthropic vibe by research, and having observed the evolving change and activity from a distance for 7 years; it’s a mystery, and way way above my pay grade to care that much.

On the way to the elevators, the cleaning crew is in front of me, and the ladies have my attention whether they’d asked for it or not. They are talking in their native tongue, Spanish. Some are giggling while making subtle glances in my direction; young, early twenties, somewhat petite, but the worst part is…they’re desirable, and they know it.

My routine is rote which makes this part of my job very dangerous in that I’m human and experience what humans desire; which if not controlled, compromises the nature of my position to prevent liability, maintain integrity, and hold dear my vows to Laura; the vulnerability of the human condition is sensitive to the extreme, and for some odd reason the reproductive system of my body ignites this desire to be fruitful and multiply more children of wrath in this world.

These colors of light about these ladies is entrancing… How the deep dark red is pulsating to their hearts’ beat, their bodies lit a flame that orbs about them, and now, how the color of their minds are shifting shades of brown as I draw closer or further away. I stare more intently at the color of their mind and feel this urg—

DING” – “SECOND FLOOR—GOING DOWN

Distracted by the elevator’s artificial operator, I think to myself “Why do I see that color?”, and quickly come to my senses.

It’s afterhours and in the event there is any malfunction, especially an indicator of a technological glitch in the artificial intelligent geware; I must be ready to respond and immediately notify PM—Property Management—which technically is that third party management service aforementioned, so they can quickly report the issue and await further instruction. I’m more or less a backup system in the event of a cyber crisis, and the geware system need be shutdown; or basically, quite simply, the elevator doors, just…don’t open.

On the way back to the security desk I process the color activity between me and those attractive women, why did the color behave like that?

Then WarCof, still with me, said—”Nathan, you don’t see your own color for a reason, but as you’ve already witnessed: there is a blue to green light orb that describes the essence of men, so too, you have in like fashion as they. As both these colors between men and women collide, a language is revealed. A language of activity that has the power to reveal an active truth. And as those ladies drew nearer to you, the colors revealed the nature of your sin, your desire; humans have a chemical energy and radiance that influences the behavior in which you were experiencing. When the green orbs of men clashes with the orange orbs of women, information that is invisible to the human eye you now have access to see, and the brown color in the minds of those women—you found attractive—reveals a nature of sin that is in every human.”

Stunned, I didn’t know what to think. I went on autopilot and continued to process every word of what WarCof said… and in that state, I remained.

I arrive home, it’s late, Laura is already asleep, but there she lay in all her magnificence, with that beautiful deep red to fiery purple orb that lights up the dark just right, it’s perfect, and incredible. The light behaves in such a way that it brings peace as she sleeps, “pfffffffff…” then there’s this loudest fart that came out of nowhere vibrating the entire room, strong enough to disturb the colors of the orb. That was amazing and quite profound, I thought it would never end. She shuffles a little bit, unconsciously, like she was about to wake up, but nope. No matter.

I can’t help but to watch her sleep, like a creeper, and I have so many questions. Like… why does her mind not behave like that of the other women? I don’t see the brown glow in her mind? Is she attracted to me? Have I no attraction for her? Does she not have that sin as WarCof said? Was WarCof wrong? Can I trust what WarCof is telling me? Is something wrong…

THE TASTE OF IMMORTALITY

Nathan’s Public Journal | III

Thursday, 12/17/2020

Laura burns with a different color than the other women I see. Her heart burns with that same intense deep red, but where there is a fiery orange for the other women… Laura has a gorgeous purple similar to that of WarCof. “Why”, I say to WarCof, but then everything unfreezes and WarCof is disappeared, gone. Everything returned as though nothing happened, but something remained…


Okay, the bigger font is our story. I still have the date at the top of our journal post to indicate the present time. The military time (Time ####—) I used in the previous journal entry NPJ | II was to log the actual time I was writing that day to describe my events of that day—that actually occurred, other than the fantasy aspect of the narration—I’m using for the beginning of our story. And to prevent any confusion between fiction or nonfiction; I’m using this smaller font as my true nonfictional self (Hi, my name is Nathan), where as now, the…

bigger font

…has evolved into our story line, which includes fiction with the nonfiction. The fiction, of course, involves: WarCof and these now supernatural affects/abilities to our characters that describe our eternal realm that surrounds us, and is truly about us. This story is describing a very present and real taste of immortality, but also told from a very real dying and human perspective, of which the meaning is revealed as the story continues. Okay, now back to the story—where Nathan is still at NorthPark Center with Laura having a mental breakdown…


My head is spinning, I’m dizzy. I could hear the muffled tone of Laura’s concerned voice, “Honey, are you okay?” But it was like waking up from a vivid dream, processing what I’d just dreamt. But in this case witnessed, thinking—did that just really happen, is this really happening—do I really have these new abilities, what is going on?

I feel this pain in my head gradually increasing as I look at Laura; her body is transparent by this deep pulsating dark red, the color moves with each beat—thu-dump, thu-dump, thu-dump—of her heart, causing a ripple like effect; the light is as constant as her pulse, like it’s alive or something; as the light moves outward from her heart to the shape of her body, that dark red transitions to light red at her frame; then right at the exterior of her frame, the colors converge into this fiery purple, giving off this orb like glow that extends out into her surrounding space. It’s magnificent…

“‘AHH!’ ‘OU!’ ‘SSS-GAWW!'” It’s painful to look at her for too long.

Laura’s tone becomes desperate, “Honeyyyy, talk to me, what’s wrong?” “EMMMM—my head … hurts. Might be a migraine?”, I lie.

We’re on the second floor of the shopping center, a railing is close by; the center of the mall opens up from floor to ceiling, revealing the two dividing floors where escaladers are strategically stationed at select locations for consumers to ascend and descend between the floors.

I stumble to the railing, catching myself, while hearing Laura’s elevated tone, “Honey!? … Honey!?? Do you need to sit down!? Are you okay!?”

We are not far from the food court, and the place is packed with all kinds of humans! The light shining from each person gives off an extraordinary combination of colors, especially as they get closer to the orbs of other people. It’s fascinating!

While I’m on the railing, I can see the first floor where people are walking under us oblivious to who’s looking from above.

I try my best to keep my composure; I have one hand on my face squeezing my head with my index finger and thumb, while the other hand is holding myself up on this rail—with the help of Laura, of course.

I close my eyes, shake my head violently, blink rapidly, and several times. I’m trying to adapt to this changing condition and new ability of my sight to these colors of light; I don’t understand it—obviously—it’s not making any sense, why would it?

I mumble… “WarCof” … “What! Who?”, Laura asked. “Oh uh— nothing”, I say quickly, while thinking to myself; how do I know his name?

I could feel Laura’s arm squeeze tighter; she had wrapped it around me to prevent the worst possible outcome, going over the rail when I’d stumbled over to it; she is trying to hold me up—deeply concerned that I’m about to pass-out or something, “Come on honey, let’s go.”

She motions to that bench, that bench where the kid was above—frozen mid air—now, available.

I’m catching glimpses of peoples’ attention drawing on us now, and I can feel Laura’s anxiety spiking. People walking by us are slowing down.

Aware of what’s happening; I try to adapt immediately to fake a normal composure, but I can feel myself changing, and it’s extremely painful with each step. My brain is throbbing, and the vibration of my steps—intensifies the pain.

It felt like eternity, but finally, a place to sit.

The bystanders are curious, I can feel them. I tell Laura, “I don’t feel so good.” Laura wanted to call the police, but I’d noticed already, several were close by, acting aloof, while Laura was still waiting on my answers after so many unanswered frantic questions. “No, no! I’m okay, I’m okay!” I said.

I’m obviously not okay, but attempting to explain the nature of my condition would land me in a Psych ward.

“Let’s go home.” I say to Laura. “Okay, babae kissies”, she says ever so sweetly. So I muster the strength to get up, and hopefully, walk normal—which might look like I was either drugged or drunk to onlookers watching our every move. I mean it does, indeed, look weird seeing a grown man leaning on a cute little Mexican woman for support.

But then again, looking around, the other men with Hispanic ladies are doing the same thing. I guess I’m not the only husband getting la chancla at home, one guy even used Morse code to signal an S.O.S. from the light of his phone in his pocket and also—”these women are crazy, man, help me”—I signaled back—dude, mine knows that signal, are you trying to get us killed—his eyes got massive, face full of fear, and then we smiled facetiously as we moved along.

As soon as Laura and I make it back to our decked-out four door 2035 hovering Toyota Corolla LE that counters the gravitation pull… or rather, the momentum of the earths rotational force around the sun influx of our Milky Way galaxy’s trajectory into dark matter and energy—Laura pops’ the trunk, throws me in saying, “I saw the Morse code.”, and pulls out this chancla I’d never seen before.


The End.


Okay, not really, but once inside our normal gas engine vehicle, I passed out cold—dead asleep. I hardly remember getting out of the car to find our bed once we’d arrived home, and thankfully, I didn’t have work until Thursday 12/17/2020.


Two days later—today.


I’d slept for nearly two days, woke up feeling like it was any other day, and just in time to get ready for work.

I could hear Laura downstairs in the kitchen, probably preparing me something to eat now, and a meal for later. I quickly get dressed in my security uniform and go downstairs. BOOM! I hit the door at the end of our staircase as soon as I see Laura. There she is in all her fiery red purple glow as she stands in the kitchen stunned and confused by my display.

It all came back to me, and I remember the WarCof encounter and the sound of his voice.

Thinking to myself What do these colors mean? as I make my way to Laura, still somewhat confused. “Something’s going on with you?”, she says. “Me, naww, I’m alright, much better now that I’ve slept.” I kiss her, but could tell that Laura wasn’t buying it, and time didn’t allow for further investigation.

I ate fast, grabbed my meal and supplies for work, and said, “Thank you, Love, I love you.” Laura walks me to the door, watches me like some creeper as I walk to the car. Just kidding, she always beholds me with great wonder and enthusiasm as I strut to the car like I’m the king of the world because she’s watching.

I put my things in the back seat, just behind the drivers side, and as soon as I get in the car—WarCof.

WarCof appears in the passenger side seat in all his amazing glory scaring the death, literally, out of me, “How did yo—” “Drive!”

I put the car in gear and head north from south Dallas. “What is going on?” I ask with subtle fear and intense hope, “You know the scriptures, and where it speaks of what this experience is…” “No, no I don’t, and how do I know your name? WarCof.” “Don’t worry about driving.” There was a brief silence. “…What!?” “I know where your occupation is—so don’t worry about driving.” This was weird, I didn’t know how to respond to that. So I kept silent.

I continued to drive in disbelief of his instruction. I didn’t say another word, but for some reason, his company remained with me in the passenger seat. So we just sat there, in silence, the whole way to my job site in the metroplex of Dallas TX. Once I’d arrived onsite, clocked in for duty, WarCof was still at my side—or at least, within proximity of my sight. His presence was powerful, nothing like anything to compare from an earthly description.

I stationed myself at the security desk after making a patrol of the site, checking the high priority areas inside the high-rise office building first, then the integrity of the garage and building structure next. The cleaning services were about to arrive, and would need access into certain tenants’ offices with a red dot on their door handle indicating ‘authorized personal only’.

When the cleaning crew arrived, the majority are ladies, and they’re attractive. As soon as I saw them coming into the building to collect their keys for access, their bodies burned with that red and fiery orange color that orbed around their physique, but there was something different. I could see a light brownish glow that came from their brain. This color was new, or… I didn’t recognize it before. As they would get closer and closer to the security desk, that brownish color intensified to it’s darkest form.

After issuing them their keys, WarCof appears next to me and asks, “Why do you see that color?”


Okay, we’ll get to there in a our next journal entry (NPJ | IV). Until then, be thinking about this scripture: For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, 5 and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, 6 and then have fallen away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God and put Him to open shame.

THE TASTE OF IMMORTALITY

Nathan’s Public Journal | II

Tuesday, 12/15/2020

Time 0140—In the morning of this brisk, silent, night. Well, “silent”… as in a feeling; my beautiful wife is breathing in a way that indicates REM sleep, and there is a sound of warm air blowing through the ventilation system—to fight off the cold in the night; awe of course, and the sound of the ‘k’ ‘e’ ‘y’ ‘s’ mashing against my keyboard as my fingers mean to type quietly. I don’t want to awaken the… Naura; ooooohhhh…I’m joking-I’m Joking! My wife (Laura), is the sweetest; even if she woke up, she’d probably unconsciously give me a hug and a kiss, then back to bed.

So after listening to the critique, well… honest advice, of my wife, on the original version to this journal entry (12/12-14/2020), decided on a different tactic for this post. I won’t bore you on the details because written well, it won’t matter.

Don’t mind skipping past the reference structure below. It’s my map.


  • Jesus Christ is my belief structure.
    1. What does that mean? (salvation).
      1. Human soul and God.
        1. Saved by grace through faith.
        2. How does faith work?
  • I love my wife—priority.
    1. She is the core/center of my responsibilities.
      1. I need structure.
        1. Public Journal/accountability
  • Job with hours to aid me on this trajectory.
    1. Not ideal, but blessed.
      1. I work nights and days.
      2. Best option at the moment.
        1. Aim for only nights if available.
        2. Or learn how to write, like, very good!
  • Psychology Professor—Jordan Peterson.
    1. Mentor/Maps of Meaning/(biblical skeptic?)
      1. I think Jordan’s strategy to understand ‘meaning’ is awesome!
  • My personality— understand and improve.
    1. 1 Peter 3:15 (but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;)
      1. There is a hope in the personality of a believer.
        1. My personality is wild; I want to understand it.
  • Skill/s to master:
    1. Writing.
    2. Videography.
  • Goal/s…
    • Is there more than one?
      • Where is the sacred ground?
        • What is this going to do?
          • How will this be effective?
            • What is the sacrifice?
              • Will the practice, preach?
                • What does it mean?
                  • When is it time to plant?
  • The seed is to sanctify Christ as Lord in my heart.

Time 0439—Just completed a couple scheduled devotionals (P1-V15 and P1-V16). Now that, that work is prepped; it frees me up to get creative with this public journal. The idea is to write in a way that tells a story, a true story, but with a twist. The reason this journal is public is to benefit both the writer, but more importantly, the reader. And I can’t have you bored out of your mind. So let me go get some more coffee real quick as I think about you in this story of ours.

Time 0519—I kid you not, as soon as I grabbed my coffee cup to head downstairs, Laura says to me, “Are you getting coffee?” Mind you, she has no idea what I’d just written, the room is dark (other than the candle next to me), and she couldn’t see that I’d grabbed my cup (because a black fabric blocks her view as it hangs from our ceiling nearly the length of our desk). This might be prophetic—said facetiously. I asked her how she knew I was going to get coffee, and she says “I don’t know.” I mean, that’s just providential!

Anyway, as I thought of you while getting coffee; I was inspired by the written word of God, to have a title for our story:

THE TASTE OF IMMORTALITY

Time 0911—We live in the realm of the eternal, this isn’t a fictional story. There are fictional names to real characters in mine and your stories, but our land of the eternal is very real—nonfictional (actually occurring) as we live today. There are enemies and friendlies that move all around and about us, so listen closely as we venture into the world of the eternal. And experience the taste of immortality.

Time 2111—There is a character by the name of WarCof, also known by his initials (WC). It’s getting late; I have less than 3 hours. The time is dark, evil is lurking. WarCof is an image-bearer of the Light, an eternal being known as the—Wonderful Counselor. The earth at this time of our lives, is also know as—the world of wrath. This world of wrath is presently an age of what feels like an eternal hell; these earthly beings are wearing face masks, carrying hand sanitizers and disinfectants, maintaining social distancing to prevent the spread of the inevitable consequence of sin—death.

Time 2145—Laura and I (Nathan), decided to go out into the world of wrath between the gap of 0911-2111; for nearly 6 hours, we were out at a shopping center called NorthPark; we exchanged clothing items that were the wrong fit for us at the H&M shop, and found a gift for a close relative. The shopping center was packed with people, and as Laura and I walked a couple laps, the strangest thing started to happen with my eyes.

At first, all I saw was gray, the color gray was everywhere; the shops, the people, the merchandise, everything with a physical form was gray. I blinked a few times, no change. I closed my eyes and rubbed each of them simultaneously with my hands, when they opened, I met WarCof. WarCof strangely appeared in this magnificent color of white/purple, his figure wasn’t that attractive, but built like a man. He was about my height (5’7″), but couldn’t figure his weight, it wouldn’t register in my brain. His voice made a sharp deep powerful sound, although, it felt gentle to my ears—a perfect tone.

“Look”, he said. And when I did, I saw everything perfectly still. Nothing moved, no sound was made, no air was felt, and the people and their children completely frozen in their place. I saw families in mid step, mouths unmoved although stuck open from mid conversation, a kid frozen in mid air from leaping off a bench. Police officers… well… nothing too unique there, they were already posed.

But here is where it gets interesting.

As I continued to look … two distinct colors began to emerge specific to their gender, male and female; the women have this color combination of red/orange giving off this beautiful fiery glow, their bodies are transparent as the color intensifies at their core, their heart burns an intense deep red; the color of the men glow an amazing blue/green, and a deep cold dark blue intensifies at the heart, exactly the same way the deep red does for the women. Then my eyes shift to gaze upon my wife, I nearly fall to the ground ducking; she has this froze pissed off face, it’s actually quite cute and funny.

Laura burns with a different color than the other women I see. Her heart burns with that same intense deep red, but where there is a fiery orange for the other women… Laura has a gorgeous purple similar to that of WarCof. “Why”, I say to WarCof, but then everything unfreezes. WarCof is disappeared, gone. Everything returned as though nothing happened, but something remained…

THE TASTE OF IMMORTALITY

Find all kinds of precious wealth | P1-V13

The Enticement of Sinners

Proverbs 1; I die daily devotional.

13 We will find all kinds of precious wealth, We will fill our houses with spoil;


If you have not watched “THE LORD OF THE RINGS” and “THE HOBBIT” trilogies, it will be quite the adventure if you do. Let me give a little insight as to the relevance.

There is a character by the name of Smeagol, who finds a precious gold ring, and by it becomes possessed by this dark evil power. The evil ring “blesses” Smeagol with extraordinarily long life, but it consumes him. Smeagol was a normal person (or Hobbit), but the ring, over time, literally transformed him, his body, into an unidentifiable harmless creature. The person that was once Smeagol became… “Gollum”. Gollum crept his way into the deep darkness of the Misty Mountains, keeping hidden this ring of evil power he called, “my Precious”, until… well… you’ll have to watch the trilogies.

MY PRECIOUS

What happened to Smeagol, or rather, Gollum, at the end of the story is what happens to those who are described by our verse—We will find all kinds of precious wealth, We will fill our houses with spoil. Those who’ve placed their hope in precious pleasures to experience in this life forfeit their own soul, becoming possessed by an idea that deludes them into their fate of what it means to be evil. They become the outcome of the Ring-bearer, which ultimately, ends in death, despair, and alone to burn—forever.

  • What in this life describes for you, “my Precious?”
  • Are you enticing people away from the gospel?
  • Does your character reflect Jesus Christ?
  • Are you possessed by sin?
  • Will you let go of the “ring”?

RECOURSE

Proverbs 1 (NASB)—blueletterbible.org
1 The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel: 2 To know wisdom and instruction, To discern the sayings of understanding, 3 To receive instruction in wise behavior, Righteousness, justice and equity; To give prudence to the naïve, To the youth knowledge and discretion, 5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, 6 To understand a proverb and a figure, The words of the wise and their riddles. 7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction.  8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction And do not forsake your mother’s teaching; 9 Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head And ornaments about your neck. 10 My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. 11 If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait for blood, Let us ambush the innocent without cause; 12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, Even whole, as those who go down to the pit; 13 We will find all kinds of precious wealth, We will fill our houses with spoil; 14 Throw in your lot with us, We shall all have one purse,” 15 My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path, 16 For their feet run to evil And they hasten to shed blood. 17 Indeed, it is useless to spread the baited net In the sight of any bird; 18 But they lie in wait for their own blood; They ambush their own lives. 19 So are the ways of everyone who gains by violence; It takes away the life of its possessors. Wisdom Warns 20 Wisdom shouts in the street, She lifts her voice in the square; 21 At the head of the noisy streets she cries out; At the entrance of the gates in the city she utters her sayings: 22 “How long, O naïve ones, will you love being simple-minded? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing And fools hate knowledge? 23  “Turn to my reproof, Behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you. 24 “Because I called and you refused, I stretched out my hand and no one paid attention; 25 And you neglected all my counsel And did not want my reproof; 26 I will also laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your dread comes, 27 When your dread comes like a storm And your calamity comes like a whirlwind, When distress and anguish come upon you. 28 “Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; They will seek me diligently but they will not find me, 29 Because they hated knowledge And did not choose the fear of the LORD. 30 “They would not accept my counsel, They spurned all my reproof. 31 “So they shall eat of the fruit of their own way And be satiated with their own devices. 32 “For the waywardness of the naïve will kill them, And the complacency of fools will destroy them. 33 “But he who listens to me shall live securely And will be at ease from the dread of evil.”


COMMENTARY

Matthew Henry (P1-V13) Commentary
Here Solomon gives another general rule to young people, in order to their finding out, and keeping in, the paths of wisdom, and that is to take heed of the snare of bad company. David’s psalms begin with this caution, and so do Solomon’s proverbs; for nothing is more destructive, both to a lively devotion and to a regular conversation (v. 10): “My son, whom I love, and have a tender concern for, if sinners entice thee, consent thou not.’ This is good advice for parents to give their children when they send them abroad into the world; it is the same that St. Peter gave to his new converts, (Acts 2:40), Save yourselves from this untoward generation. Observe,

  • 1. How industrious wicked people are to seduce others into the paths of the destroyer: they will entice. Sinners love company in sin; the angels that fell were tempters almost as soon as they were sinners. They do not threaten or argue, but entice with flattery and fair speech; with a bait they draw the unwary young man to the hook. But they mistake if they think that by bringing others to partake with them in their guilt, and to be bound, as it were, in the bond with them, they shall have the less to pay themselves; for they will have so much the more to answer for.
  • 2. How cautious young people should be that they be not seduced by them: “Consent thou not; and then, though they entice thee, they cannot force thee. Do not say as they say, nor do as they do or would have thee to do; have no fellowship with them.’ To enforce this caution,
    • I. He represents the fallacious reasonings which sinners use in their enticements, and the arts of wheedling which they have for the beguiling of unstable souls. He specifies highwaymen, who do what they can to draw others into their gang, v. 11-14. See here what they would have the young man to do: “Come with us (v. 11); let us have thy company.’ At first they pretend to ask no more; but the courtship rises higher (v. 14): “Cast in thy lot among us; come in partner with us, join thy force to ours, and let us resolve to live and die together: thou shalt fare as we fare; and let us all have one purse, that what we get together we may spend merrily together,’ for that is it they aim at. Two unreasonable insatiable lusts they propose to themselves the gratification of, and therewith entice their pray into the snare:-
      • 1. Their cruelty. They thirst after blood, and hate those that are innocent and never gave them any provocation, because by their honesty and industry they shame and condemn them: “Let us therefore lay wait for their blood, and lurk privily for them; they are conscious to themselves of no crime and consequently apprehensive of no danger, but travel unarmed; therefore we shall make the more easy prey of them. And, O how sweet it will be to swallow them up alive!’ v. 12. These bloody men would do this as greedily as the hungry lion devours the lamb. If it be objected, “The remains of the murdered will betray the murderers;’ they answer, “No danger of that; we will swallow them whole as those that are buried.’ Who could imagine that human nature should degenerate so far that it should ever be a pleasure to one man to destroy another!
      • 2. Their covetousness. They hope to get a good booty by it (v. 13): “We shall find all precious substance by following this trade. What though we venture our necks by it? we shall fill our houses with spoil.’ See here,
        • (1.) The idea they have of worldly wealth. They call it precious substance; whereas it is neither substance nor precious; it is a shadow; it is vanity, especially that which is got by robbery, Ps. 62:10. It is as that which is not, which will give a man no solid satisfaction. It is cheap, it is common, yet, in their account, it is precious, and therefore they will hazard their lives, and perhaps their souls, in pursuit of it. It is the ruining mistake of thousands that they over-value the wealth of this world and look on it as precious substance.
        • (2.) The abundance of it which they promise themselves: We shall fill our houses with it. Those who trade with sin promise themselves mighty bargains, and that it will turn to a vast account (All this will I give thee, says the tempter); but they only dream that they eat; the housefuls dwindle into scarcely a handful, like the grass on the house-tops.