Tag Archives: Life

Divided

Divided


It’s sad to reach a point in life when the thought of hell seems much more appealing than to remain in the skin of your flesh. When the thought of escape is your only option, but are petrified. When a call for help is not meant for saving.

I don’t hate my life. But that unreliable feeling of hate sure is poking and prodding. What I hate is being divided by the questions and doubts of people that presume to know me when they don’t have a clue; there is just not enough time in the world to be completely free with people that choose not to believe they can trust you unless you adhere to their “divine” perception for you, then they might believe. As long as you stay within their realm of interpretation and perception.

It’s incredible the amount of attention you will draw to demons when living for your faith “Jesus as Lord” by recognizing sin for what it is and how I’m in desperate need of salvation. It’s incredible the sirens and temptations in place just for you. It’s a constant crouching (Genesis 4:7):

“Those people see you as a tyrant. That woman wants you. That man desires you. Do this to get rich. Say that to make a difference. You’re a sexy beast, well endowed, who can resist. It feels good to be right. It feels good to have power. You’re a liar. You’re a fraud, poser, fake, and the list goes on because you’re unworthy. Don’t waste my time. You have our undivided attention. Look at him, he is better than you in every way. You’re smart and beautiful, but ugly and stupid too. I feel depressed. You’re unstable, unfit, unqualified. Here is your kingdom of heaven! No, there it is!”

I ask myself, “why is this happening?” But it only makes sense. Because…demons are taking the time the world does not have to get to know you and me. Whether the world or I want to believe that or not, the truth sets us free. I hate this spiritual war that divides my soul and blood into pieces as bread for demons and wine for their minions. If you are a believer in the gospel of Jesus Christ, you’ll understand this war, but if not then I hope this will prick at your conscience because you’re held captive thinking you’re free.

They are clever. The devil and his demons … but I see them. And they know that I see them. “It’s a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God” (Hebrews 10:31). I’m in hell learning the tips and tricks of insanity navigating my way through the crowd in hope to save some if not all, “have you heard…“.

It’s sad…

Nathan Dooley

The “Bridge” Illustration (Part 1)|The Heart Of Lucifer|Self-Sustainability Self-Sufficiency

Featured photo: Ben Jacobi www.bdjphoto.com (Natural Bridge)

The “Bridge” Illustration (Part 1)

The Heart Of Lucifer

I’m speaking to those of you who have heard and are still hearing the gospel of Jesus Christ, yet not believing.

I’m not speaking to those who claim they’ve not heard the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I think the lot of you not believing in this gospel is grounded on a profound question:

Does that mean those who have not heard are going to Hell?

My quick opinionated answer is “way above my pay grade” and a strong “depends” (potential future post) because wherever they are in their respective regions of the world are entirely entrusted to the providential care of God. (Romans 1:18-32) (Romans 2:12-16)

I need you only narrow your gaze in retrospect of your personal belief system. But widen your gaze in respect of what we are about to discover in the Bible together.

We are going to discover some spiritual clarity by this satellite view of the gospel.

BP1

You’ll find the same photo presented above in the previous (Introduction) post. But thisBefore the Beginning of Man time our view is not so disoriented as in the previous photo, because we could not perceive whether we’re looking skyward at the clouds, or a fog, maybe dense smoke in the wind?

But we now have some clarity. We have a satellite view of the Earth looking at clouds over the Indian Ocean with Indonesia and Malaysia to the east. 

If you are a person that does not believe in the God of the Bible, the testimony of Jesus Christ. Then my confrontation is that you have a disorienting view of your future that threatens the condition of your soul and place in eternity.

That confrontation has the potential to come across judgmental—as though the answer of my hypothetical is the gavel to your freedom. I’ll assure you that that is not the case.

I lived in a thought that I believed, but didn’t truly understand what that meant until realizing more and more, day after day, the process of sanctification. Mind you, it is still in process. So lets widen our gaze.

BP1.

The gospel instructs me to make disciples; the bible is my instruction manual, and the Spirit of God is bearing witness to all that is being written by me and read by you; it is a terrifying thing to fall into the hands of the living God, so although humorous at times, do not take this lightly; my soul and spirit are distressed at the concern for those who can honestly say from within that they’ve heard the gospel, but are scared to trust in the message and or have turned away from the faith altogether.

Don’t be afraid. Come trust in this gospel of Jesus Christ. You’re being recruited for war against the evil oppressor of your soul and the souls of all nations.

The harvest is plenty, but the workers are few.

Stick with me! Because in case you didn’t notice by the plethora of distractions, we‘re on the verge of a misconception.

self-sustainability *

How that ties, comes together, is actually the start of our revelation to the “bridge” illustration. It begins at the heart of Lucifer revealed in the 2nd and 3rd chapters of Genesis, the 14th chapter of Isaiah, 28th chapter of Ezekiel, and the 12th/13th chapters of Revelation.

Don’t misinterpret or misunderstand the use of the video above. I’m not “knocking it”. Technology is a useful tool when maintained in biblical context. That video is only meant to describe and enlighten how advanced we are and to alert the christian children growing up in this age to an inevitable prophecy. Don’t freak out!

Oh yeah. Time for some coffee!

053D4F5B-A5CA-4576-9639-8B5BFBEC6E05

[Part 2 is well on it’s way, “The Fall Of Unrighteousness To The Rise Of Satan”]

I was watching Satan fall from heaven like lightning (Conclusion)

Featured photo: Ben Jacobi www.bdjphoto.com 

“17 The seventy returned with joy, saying, “Lord, even the demons are subject to us in Your name.” 18 And He said to them, “I was watching Satan fall from heaven like lightning. 19 Behold, I have given you authority to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all the power of the enemy, and nothing will injure you.” (Luke 10)

What demons are effecting you? I needed to read this again. The serpents and scorpions I face are but whispers of fleeting pleasures that distract me from my purpose. I ask myself, “How do I defeat them? There are so many.” The enemy whispers back, “here’s an idea…” And so here I am, stuck in this pattern of doubtful questions, my faith deteriorating. Revive me Lord, save me from this present evil, You are my salvation. Your blood alone is the ink of my name in the book of life. I will follow you, teach me by Your Spirit as you taught people in the time of your flesh. I love you. Amen.

Coffee At Midnight In The Giant City

Featured photo: Ben Jacobi www.bdjphoto.com 

Have you ever discovered the moment you’re awake at midnight with some coffee looking at a photo that is talking to you? That is where I’m at. When I first encountered this photo the word “maze” came to mind describing my immediate perception, but learned that this maze is called “Giant City” in Illinois. But aside from that information. This photo that speaks is, actually, not the one talking.

The very Person in my mind I think about when looking into this photo is Jesus Christ. But I don’t claim to see an image of a person I’ve never seen, nor do I claim to hear His voice having never heard what it sounds like. I claim to perceive Him. There are a number of different ways this photo is interpreted for bearing meaning in my life, but there is only one that will make a difference. The meaning of Jesus Christ. When I look at this photo I experience a walk with the Holy Spirit of God teaching me the truth about myself within the maze of this world. No matter the path this world has to offer, it is a path to death just as you see the paths presented in the photo, but there is a path you won’t see unless you perceive it. That path, is a path of faith.

To experience faith is to place your confidence in a promise that someone gives you.

I promise you, follow me and we’ll get out of this maze.

The question is whether you’ll believe in the promise even if the person that promised dies. That is what Jesus Christ—being the image of God as the Son of God—promised. He promised that He would be raised from the dead and resurrected to the right hand of God. That is recorded to have happened in history past, but is still a living promise today. The promise is for those that believe to be resurrected with Him right now, having been baptized with Christ as a symbol of obedience by repentance. You’ve chosen to acknowledge that all born from the seed of Adam are guilty of sin (lust, idolatry, and pride) and so convicted to the point of death that you place your trust in the promise of God. The grace of God is given through that promise of faith, you have mercy, not wrath. But if you do not believe in that promise, you have His wrath, not mercy.

So my purpose in the maze of this world is to plant a seed, a seed of promise. The promise that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. Everyone is born into this life by the design of God, a design that was good corrupted by evil. So every person has had, has, and will have the opportunity to believe, ask the thief on the cross that died with Christ.

River Course to Recovery

Featured photo: Ben Jacobi www.bdjphoto.com 

Re:generation

Monday’s are when Laura and I meet at Watermark only to be separated by a program that takes us on a journey to recovery from struggles (or spiritual diseases that eat away at our psyche).  To name a few:

  • Abused (Physically/Verbally/Emotionally/Sexually)
  • Abortion
  • Acceptance/ fear of rejection
  • Anger/Rage/Escalation
  • Anxiety
  • Body image
  • Cheating
  • Critical Spirit/Complaining
  • Debt
  • Defined by my past
  • Divorce/Separation
  • Drugs/Substance Abuse/Pills
  • Drunkenness
  • Emotional dependency
  • Evil thoughts/actions
  • Fear
  • Greed/Selfishness/Love of Money
  • Insecurity
  • Isolation/Withdraw
  • Lust
  • Lying/Deceit/Dishonesty
  • Masturbation
  • Pride/Self Righteousness
  • Sexual immorality/fornication
  • Stress
  • Unforgiveness
  • Voyeurism
  • Worry

The list is much longer, alarming, and questioning, but stem from three main roots identifiable here.  The program is a heavy load to bear, but worth it.  I’ll assure you.  The step group of men I’ve been assigned with have just completed the “3rd Step” heading into “Inventory” (4th Step) to a 12 Step—year long process for understanding, healing, and change.  Inventory is where I’ll be enduring the “max” weight of the process, with my band of brothers to “spot” the weight.  This is the equivalent of what it takes to be a Navy Seal but from a spiritual perspective.  The determination that qualifies my recovery is entirely between me and the Holy Spirit of God.  Will I qualify?

Spiritual Warfare

warfareRaised attending church and later even considered a PK (Preacher’s kid); having been sexually molested and abused as a child; medicated the majority of my life for ADD/ADHD (Ritalin, Strattera, Adderall, and Vyvanse); devastated by my parents divorce, depressed and confused; addicted to pornography; emotionally and physically manipulated and abused; exposed to and experienced sexual misconduct and immorality; disowned family while abandoned by family; experienced drugs and transported; the hypocrite of hypocrites; liar and deceiver, hiding my pain with the guilt of others shame; holes in my doors and walls, angry at everything; dead to the world with literal broken bones, hydrocodone, and time to kill; finally, the truth is but a question still, “Am I Forgiven?”.  I’ve said to myself over and over again, “‘But’ this.  And, ‘but’ that.”.  In response to not understanding or trusting that I’m truly loved by God.  So for me to accept a truth that such evil could be forgiven, was intolerable, “It can’t be!  Impossible!  How?”.  I’d make the claim, “My sexual reproductive system ‘justifies’ the act of my ‘second glance’ that deems me guilty of committing adultery according to the preacher’s preaching.”.  Then I must be already on a river course to Hell.  Why would this life permit such evil “freedoms” in respect of (not getting caught) governmental laws and city ordinances that would convict me otherwise, if not to subtly and discreetly enjoy?  So, my flesh would say in its sin, “What happens in this life ‘stays’ in this life.”, after all, “It’s forgiven.”.  Reader, do you hear that pride?  According to biblical standards; offering up my blood as payment for a place in the Kingdom of God will not suffice for a Holy God and will have to (justifiably) come to a verdict, “guilty of sin”.  I am incapable of bearing the weight of my sin and no amount of money will free me from the truth within the “needle” (death penalty) that awaits me.  Have I been abandoned by God?

Qualified

Around the age of 16 I’d disowned my dad (Jim Dooley) and denounced him to the “biological father” status with an agenda to prove the point.  When my dad would approach me with open arms for a hug, I’d refuse; or again with a hand shake, in public, still refuse.  On my graduation day in front of all my fellow classmates and peers had my name called out as my step-dad’s last name, “Powell”.  To make it clear with my legal name change that I would have nothing to do with Jim.  It wasn’t until I was so broken (literally) alone in my home, finding a letter from my dad that wrote “I love you” all over the face of it and inside, the desired expression to have a “relationship again”.  When I had first received this card, I’d thrown it aside thinking it not to be found ever again… Until.  There is a part of the story with powerful significance to this letter that will have to come in a later post.  Amidst the lies of the enemy that would cloud my judgment and ability to discern right from wrong realized I had the ability to forgive Jim.  It had nothing to do with anything my dad had done wrong.  Only the fact that I had the power to forgive.  Get this!  Even having the knowledge of all that has been done wrong in not only my life, but my family’s, left me in a position to choose the next step.  Will I forgive it all?  All that was presented and lain before you in my life above.  Have I forgiven it? And, am I forgiven?  I broke down sobbing with snot and tears when realizing that God was speaking to me in that letter, “I love you” — “I hope to have a relationship with you again”.  My lust, pride, and insecurities had me blind to the nature of God as my Father.  It was not until the “prodigal son” would call his dad asking the right to his last name again, “Dooley”, that I’d taken the step to become a prodigal son of my Heavenly Father.  The most difficult part about forgiveness is trusting its integrity.  It was only until yesterday that I’d decided to truly trust the Word of God without a “but” to deter my focus from that truth.  That faith in The Word of God, is how I’m qualified!


12 His eyes are a flame of fire, and on His head are many diadems; and He has a name written on Him which no one knows except Himself. 13 He is clothed with a robe dipped in blood, and His name is called The Word of God. 14 And the armies which are in heaven, clothed in fine linen, white and clean, were following Him on white horses.


 

Nathan’s Change of Course

Featured photo: Ben Jacobi www.bdjphoto.com 

 

Hi, my name is Nathan. … “Since birth my life has been a winding river changing direction with no end in sight or ‘right’ turn to make.  That-about-sums-it-up.  Until next time.  Peace be with you.”—

 

 

 

It’s funny, I’ve felt that as being heavily the case for this blog site and especially my life here recently.  Thinking to myself, “How can a confused person write blogs about direction without direction?”.  If you’re laughing?  I’m “chuckling” with you in embarrassment, “brushing off the dust of my pride”.  I’ve changed course to a new direction or rather, “the direction of my river has changed course by no power of mine“.  If you’ve “stumbled” across this site as result of this post for the first time, it’s nice to meet you.  Don’t run off.  Consider exploring through the “menu”.  If you’re familiar with this site, please consider revisiting the “menu items” and prepare to be inspired by the changes only a real God influences!  We are seriously loved!

Reader, I have questions coming from way up high, “Left, no.. Right field! Right field”!  What river path of life are you on?  (You will get a glimpse of my path by investigating this site as an example but hope will discover my heart as true in the process?).  Do you know the spiritual direction of your life?  (I know that my spiritual direction has brought me to “here and now” writing to you.).  Why has our courses clashed?  (That is a theory that only one person in the world has proved.).

Are you willing to join me on a journey?  Please, invite your family and bring your friends to explore your answers to these questions.  Our journey will renew the mind and take us out of this world!