Tag Archives: depression

Mercedes

Robbed

Mercedes…

When I got the call from our sister (Kelsie) about the news, didn’t know how to respond other than contact police departments to try and scrabble information. I didn’t want to believe what I heard, “NOO!…”.

The feeling to describe the state of loss was…ROBBED…because you and I are designed to live holding our grandparents and parents hands as they come of age to meet our Lord. I felt robbed of the many more years to experience life with you. And it was actually some friends (Daniel included) of mine that “coined” this feeling because of how they could relate to what I was presently experiencing—”feeling of being… robbed”.

And so here I am, robbed. Because when I go to message you now, there is no response, only…silence. Which is nothing like you at all. I think you might be one of the most obnoxious people I know apart from me. I mean, not that it was a competition or anything. Ha. That’s a laugh. Everything is a competition when you’re a free spirit; that’s what makes life interesting, reckless, and fun! Anyway… I can think of a few others in our family that are just as crazy as us and yet… still alive, go figure.

And for the record, Sadie, you cheated. I’m older, and it’s only fair that the elder goes first. Yes, you’re a lady and all. And myself, a gentlemen. But rules are rules. I get that ladies go first, but that’s cheating…sis!

Even though the feeling was a feeling of being robbed. After mourning and depression…have come to be at peace by the comfort of friends and family encouragement. But not only that, also in processing these moments I shared with you in our salvational engineering group discussion on facebook.

But I also feel the strength to not give up and to be around as much as possible to show the person the happiness and light I live in daily. I believe he made me for these types of people. Relatable to all types and strong in faith

I believe He (God) did too, Sadie. And I pray any friend and family that reflects on memories of you, they are comforted as I am by the motive of your heart.

I hate seeing beautiful souls get lost in thoughts of helplessness in their dark times … Now I just need them to want to ask questions and be ready and educated in my faith when it comes to those questions.

Me and you both, Sadie! I hope any person that ever comes to know you by testimonies about you, they will ask questions about that contentment and light, that hope, and us be ready and educated in faith to answer the hard questions. And while I’m not a judge to determine justice for any soul can only hope that every soul of which knows us will know Christ Jesus to be their salvation as He is ours.

Robbed

Speaking of answers to hard questions. The questions that surrounded the feelings of being robbed are put rest by answers that aren’t governed by my bias ideas of where you might be now, spiritually speaking. I can only hope to see you again in the clouds with Jesus Christ; while my dependency of that hope does not rest necessarily upon the sight of seeing you again, rather, that our sights together are focused on seeing Him because of the truth that Jesus Christ is the author and perfecter of our faith.

I love you Sadie! And don’t worry about Titan, the boy is in trustworthy hands.

Titan, BIG MAN TITAN…

You’re not quite old enough to read this yet, but one day, you will be. And I want you to know that your mom loved and still loves you sooooo sooo much. Don’t ever loose sight of that truth because it will be a compass for your soul. Don’t suppress the emotions of your heart, let the world know who you are. But understand this from your uncle Nathan, life is a mystery of proverbs that are worth discovering to learn from the Good Book.

Let the Bible be your compass in guiding you to life, truth, and love.

Here’s a quick story to remember your mom by: It was when we (me and your mom) were kids, just a few years older than you but can’t remember exactly what it was we were doing. I think it was either a game of tag or hide-n-go-seek. It’s a vague memory.

But that’s beside the point.

What I think I remember your mom running full speed away from was—getting tagged. She was always extremely competitive and quite fearless! Anytime there was a challenge, your mom was up for the task of proving her abilities. So as she was running full speed, focused and determined, nothing could stop her until… WHAM!

There was this horizontal steel pole that came out of no where, leveled her, knocking the air out of her as she hit the ground. But you know what… she got back up, she didn’t give up. Your mom was tough, just like you! And did you take notice of how focused and determined? She was, unstoppable.

And so even when obstacles come out of nowhere to stop you, Titan. Get back up, and don’t give up….

I love you.

Nathan Dooley