It’s not that my relationship with Change is over once he or she has found salvation, on the contrary; it’s just begun. The issue is at the parting of company whence called to serve the entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. The deep affection torn—in a sense—by being combat deployed into the world I escaped from.
The relationship reminds me of Moses escaped from the world of Pharaoh only to be called back to deliver his fellow man enslaved to the oppression of sinful man, both the Israelite and Egyptian one and the same person of Change. Yet the difference is revealed by the magnificent plan of God, a plan of eternity!
However, that plan does not mean the experience of heartbreak is any less painful; in fact, it’s of a pain only the spirit can bear as it’s too unbearable for the carnal intellect. The relationship with Change developed in a world where my right is my own—I can live how I want, change my identity, and demand the “free” world accept it—is all too intimate to not have a deep sense of affection for, as intercourse unveils the sanctity of Change.
I must be out of my mind, who can understand what language I speak?
Nevertheless, my heart breathes, my mind thinks, and my tongue moves for what might not be communicated any other way than this. Is it poetry? I do not know. But I know my brother is on the way because I… “stutter”. And we are about to embark on a journey to a relationship I once knew all too intimately, a relationship that did more than the damage of divorce; it invoked jealousy to murder, an unworthy deliverer.