Tag Archives: Art

Nathan’s Public Journal | IV

Sunday, 12/20/2020

When the cleaning crew arrived, the majority are ladies, and they’re attractive.

As soon as I saw them come in to collect their keys for access; their bodies burned that red and fiery orange color that orbed around their physique, but there was something different; I could see a light brownish glow that came from their brain. This color was new, or… I didn’t recognize it before. And as they would get closer, and closer, to the security desk, that brownish color intensified to it’s darkest form.

After issuing them their keys, WarCof appears next to me and asks, “Why do you see that color?”

Ignoring WarCof, I escort them to the elevators of the second floor.

My security desk is stationed on the second floor of my building of 4; my building is located on the west wing also know as West Tower-2 (WT2). There are 24 floors to each of these 4 buildings, and they’re built perpendicular to each other: North, South, East, and West.

They were built in this way for its main attraction, which is a globe that hangs in the middle connecting each of these towers at the 12th floor.

The elevators have two sets of doors; the first set grants access to visitors, tenants, and vendors to the Towers; the second set will open exclusively for authorized personal to the globe, but no tenants, vendors, or visitors have access—making my job that much more fun—not even the third party management company that answers directly to GE, or God’s Eye, we call it, has access without security, into the globe.

GE stands for Global Earth, which is the company name of very powerful people I have yet to meet in person, and to the best of my knowledge the globe functions as a meeting lab for Avengers. Okay, well, not exactly. But it gives off that feel … considering the secrecy and philanthropic vibe by research, and having observed the evolving change and activity from a distance for 7 years; it’s a mystery, and way way above my pay grade to care that much.

On the way to the elevators, the cleaning crew is in front of me, and the ladies have my attention whether they’d asked for it or not. They are talking in their native tongue, Spanish. Some are giggling while making subtle glances in my direction; young, early twenties, somewhat petite, but the worst part is…they’re desirable, and they know it.

My routine is rote which makes this part of my job very dangerous in that I’m human and experience what humans desire; which if not controlled, compromises the nature of my position to prevent liability, maintain integrity, and hold dear my vows to Laura; the vulnerability of the human condition is sensitive to the extreme, and for some odd reason the reproductive system of my body ignites this desire to be fruitful and multiply more children of wrath in this world.

These colors of light about these ladies is entrancing… How the deep dark red is pulsating to their hearts’ beat, their bodies lit a flame that orbs about them, and now, how the color of their minds are shifting shades of brown as I draw closer or further away. I stare more intently at the color of their mind and feel this urg—

DING” – “SECOND FLOOR—GOING DOWN

Distracted by the elevator’s artificial operator, I think to myself “Why do I see that color?”, and quickly come to my senses.

It’s afterhours and in the event there is any malfunction, especially an indicator of a technological glitch in the artificial intelligent geware; I must be ready to respond and immediately notify PM—Property Management—which technically is that third party management service aforementioned, so they can quickly report the issue and await further instruction. I’m more or less a backup system in the event of a cyber crisis, and the geware system need be shutdown; or basically, quite simply, the elevator doors, just…don’t open.

On the way back to the security desk I process the color activity between me and those attractive women, why did the color behave like that?

Then WarCof, still with me, said—”Nathan, you don’t see your own color for a reason, but as you’ve already witnessed: there is a blue to green light orb that describes the essence of men, so too, you have in like fashion as they. As both these colors between men and women collide, a language is revealed. A language of activity that has the power to reveal an active truth. And as those ladies drew nearer to you, the colors revealed the nature of your sin, your desire; humans have a chemical energy and radiance that influences the behavior in which you were experiencing. When the green orbs of men clashes with the orange orbs of women, information that is invisible to the human eye you now have access to see, and the brown color in the minds of those women—you found attractive—reveals a nature of sin that is in every human.”

Stunned, I didn’t know what to think. I went on autopilot and continued to process every word of what WarCof said… and in that state, I remained.

I arrive home, it’s late, Laura is already asleep, but there she lay in all her magnificence, with that beautiful deep red to fiery purple orb that lights up the dark just right, it’s perfect, and incredible. The light behaves in such a way that it brings peace as she sleeps, “pfffffffff…” then there’s this loudest fart that came out of nowhere vibrating the entire room, strong enough to disturb the colors of the orb. That was amazing and quite profound, I thought it would never end. She shuffles a little bit, unconsciously, like she was about to wake up, but nope. No matter.

I can’t help but to watch her sleep, like a creeper, and I have so many questions. Like… why does her mind not behave like that of the other women? I don’t see the brown glow in her mind? Is she attracted to me? Have I no attraction for her? Does she not have that sin as WarCof said? Was WarCof wrong? Can I trust what WarCof is telling me? Is something wrong…

THE TASTE OF IMMORTALITY

Increase in learning and acquire wise counsel | P1-V5

The Usefulness of Proverbs

Proverbs 1; I die daily devotional

 5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel,

The previous devos are focused on becoming aware of our awareness, wait … what? 1 The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel: 2 To know wisdom and instruction, To discern the sayings of understanding, 3 To receive instruction in wise behavior, Righteousness, justice and equity; To give prudence to the naïve, To the youth knowledge and discretion, 5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, 6 To understand a proverb and a figure, The words of the wise and their riddles. Yes, until tomorrow, our proverbs are focused on becoming aware of our being alive, and alive in an environment of Wisdom. Wisdom is setting our environment for appropriate development; for growth in a world and realm of two encompassing forces: good and evil.

As my words are being written, we are innocent of their consequences. The same is understood with the hearing of these proverbs until we listen to their instruction; at which point we become responsible to our understanding of these instructions. So why learn them? Why incline our ears to hear these words given to Solomon by the power of God through Jesus Christ—the Word of God? Those answers are disclosed in the book of Revelation, but we don’t find ourselves in that experience yet. What I’m about to write next is kind of a far off thought, question rather, of curiosity to the knowledge that the place of Christ is described, but not the place of Satan. Have you ever wondered why the lake of fire is described as no more than a place of eternal punishment that burns—Hell? However, the new heavens and new earth are described in all its good, glory and magnificence, and of course the Bride of Christ—New Jerusalem—is also described in all Her radiant Truth.

What are we to make ourselves of this Truth we discover to hear ever so gently?

INCREASE IN LEARNING

This increase in learning I understand to be a preconception of what it means to be humble, because only God is all-knowing. And our responsibility to this instruction is to be always seeking the counsel of our heavenly Father in Christ our Lord. That, at the very least (for me), is what it means to worship God, to sing praise and spiritual song. The quality of such a state at its core is innocence to the experience of sin. The humble doesn’t point the finger as one who compares sin with sin, as though my sin is less appalling than yours, but instead acknowledges their sin in repentance and lives forgiven with hope.

WISE COUNSEL

As we grow in our faith to the knowledge of God, we’re instructed to acquire wise counsel. What this looks like from my viewpoint is a collection of pens (after all, I am a writer) and the ink of these pens of color signify my counsel.

  • black & white (God) [Father]
  • red (Jesus) [Son]
  • purple (Helper) [Holy Spirit]
  • yellow (women of faith) [fire]
  • blue (men of faith) [water]

True story, my favorite colors are indigo blue and neon orange; these specific colors reveal things about my personality that I have yet to understand, but look forward to discovering more about it as we move through life together. Counsel is much like the function of these colors as each color, specific to our person, represents a hierarchy. I have yet to exercise this consciously, but what happens when—I or you—ask a question (specific to our person) to a people that know us intimately (spiritually) that only the Holy Spirit can answer? What this might look like is being miserable at our jobs; what we do as far as an occupation that pays the bills, but is not at all what we’d hoped to-be-stuck doing, the rest of our lives. And so we go to certain people for insight, guidance, and help in navigating our discontentment while discovering more and more about ourselves. Some of our counsel might tell us to quit our job for what we mean to accomplish whereas other counsel might reveal treasurable aspects about our current occupation that we’d missed and outweighs the discontentment (joy in what we do is revived). Only the Holy Spirit knows these qualities about ourselves if our counsel is in Christ.

  • What are you learning?
  • Who is your counsel?
  • Are you content?
  • Is your counsel in Christ?
  • Is your counsel content?

RECOURSE

Proverbs 1 (NASB)—blueletterbible.org
1 The proverbs of Solomon the son of David, king of Israel: 2 To know wisdom and instruction, To discern the sayings of understanding, 3 To receive instruction in wise behavior, Righteousness, justice and equity; To give prudence to the naïve, To the youth knowledge and discretion, 5 A wise man will hear and increase in learning, And a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel, 6 To understand a proverb and a figure, The words of the wise and their riddles. 7 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge; Fools despise wisdom and instruction. The Enticement of Sinners 8 Hear, my son, your father’s instruction And do not forsake your mother’s teaching; 9 Indeed, they are a graceful wreath to your head And ornaments about your neck. 10 My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent. 11 If they say, “Come with us, Let us lie in wait for blood, Let us ambush the innocent without cause; 12 Let us swallow them alive like Sheol, Even whole, as those who go down to the pit; 13 We will find all kinds of precious wealth, We will fill our houses with spoil; 14 Throw in your lot with us, We shall all have one purse,” 15 My son, do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path, 16 For their feet run to evil And they hasten to shed blood. 17 Indeed, it is useless to spread the baited net In the sight of any bird; 18 But they lie in wait for their own blood; They ambush their own lives. 19 So are the ways of everyone who gains by violence; It takes away the life of its possessors. Wisdom Warns 20 Wisdom shouts in the street, She lifts her voice in the square; 21 At the head of the noisy streets she cries out; At the entrance of the gates in the city she utters her sayings: 22 “How long, O naïve ones, will you love being simple-minded? And scoffers delight themselves in scoffing And fools hate knowledge? 23  “Turn to my reproof, Behold, I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you. 24 “Because I called and you refused, I stretched out my hand and no one paid attention; 25 And you neglected all my counsel And did not want my reproof; 26 I will also laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your dread comes, 27 When your dread comes like a storm And your calamity comes like a whirlwind, When distress and anguish come upon you. 28 “Then they will call on me, but I will not answer; They will seek me diligently but they will not find me, 29 Because they hated knowledge And did not choose the fear of the LORD. 30 “They would not accept my counsel, They spurned all my reproof. 31 “So they shall eat of the fruit of their own way And be satiated with their own devices. 32 “For the waywardness of the naïve will kill them, And the complacency of fools will destroy them. 33 “But he who listens to me shall live securely And will be at ease from the dread of evil.”

Matthew Henry (P1-V5) Commentary
IV. What good use may be made of them, v. 5, 6. Those who are young and simple may by them be made wise, and are not excluded from Solomon’s school, as they were from Plato’s. But is it only for such? No; here is not only milk for babes, but strong meat for strong men. This book will not only make the foolish and bad wise and good, but the wise and good wiser and better; and though the simple and the young man may perhaps slight those instructions, and not be the better for them, yet the wise man will hear. Wisdom will be justified by her own children, though not by the children sitting in the market-place. Note, Even wise men must hear, and not think themselves too wise to learn. A wise man is sensible of his own defects (Plurima ignoro, sed ignorantiam meam non ignoroI am ignorant of many things, but not of my own ignorance), and therefore is still pressing forward, that he may increase in learning, may know more and know it better, more clearly and distinctly, and may know better how to make use of it. As long as we live we should strive to increase in all useful learning. It was a saying of one of the greatest of the rabbim, Qui non auget scientiam, amittit de ea-If our stock of knowledge by not increasing, it is wasting; and those that would increase in learning must study the scriptures; these perfect the man of God. A wise man, by increasing in learning, is not only profitable to himself, but to others also,

  • 1. As a counsellor. A man of understanding in these precepts of wisdom, by comparing them with one another and with his own observations, shall by degrees attain unto wise counsels; he stands fair for preferment, and will be consulted as an oracle, and entrusted with the management of public affairs; he shall come to sit at the helm, so the word signifies. Note, Industry is the way to honour; and those whom God has blessed with wisdom must study to do good with it, according as their sphere is. It is more dignity indeed to be counsellor to the prince, but it is more charity to be counsellor to the poor, as Job was with his wisdom. Job 29:15I was eyes to the blind.

OUTLINE

  • Why learn?
    • it teaches humility
    • it teaches discernment
      • it makes wise the innocent
      • it judges the arrogant
        • it preserves life

For My Fellow Addicts

The Unheard Website: by Dallas Fluegel

Introducing The Unheard article by Dallas Fluegel

Click the link above and discover The Unheard where my friend Dallas Fluegel brings a mixture of flavors from the musical world to your ears. Below is a taste of Dallas’s’ work and I pray it moves you as it has moved me. For The Addicts. Enjoy!


Breathe Again by Swingin Hammers

Nashville Tennessee’s Swingin Hammers is Benjamin Rupe, father, husband, and a shockingly authentic human being. Ben describes himself as a fighter by nature and his mission is to “challenge unto life.” What does that mean!? I’m sure we can find out. Swingin Hammers currently sits at 6,473 monthly Spotify listeners making him a prime candidate for our artists spotlight.

Swingin Hammers released his self titled album in 2017 and Quite, Vol 1 in 2020. The song that really got my attention was Breathe Again from the Album Swingin Hammers. It is a raw, heartfelt ballad expressing deep, emotional truths. The song is simple, but stunning. It can have me nearly in tears and smiling in the same 4 minutes. There is so much I can say about it, but Benjamin was kind enough to tell me about the song and I will share that with you after you give the song a listen. Lyrics, Meaning, & Commentary below.

LYRICS (Courtesy of jesusfreakhideout.com)

Stepping out into the light
Look around you say it’s alright
It hurts to peel the bandage off
But I see now just what it costs

It’s like I can breathe again
It’s like I’ve got a heart within
It’s like I can feel again
Just learning to breathe you in

When I was clear, oh so honest
About the doubts and confusions in my mind
You did not, no, cast me down to hell
You just looked at me and you kindly smiled

It’s like I can breathe again
It’s like I’ve got a heart within
It’s like I can feel again
Just learning to breathe you in

Oh cause I been runnin’
Away from confession
I been lookin’ for healing
Where it’s not mine to find
Without the pain of a strong love
That loves enough to wound

It’s like I can breathe again
It’s like I’ve got a heart within
It’s like I can feel again
Just learning to breathe you in

It’s like I can breathe again
It’s like I’ve got a heart within
It’s like I can feel again
Gotta learn to, gotta learn to breathe you in

Meaning (according the author)

“Breathe Again is a song about how excruciatingly painful and how unbelievably freeing confession is. It was written with my porn addiction in mind mostly, but also my previous life in alcoholism as well. At least those are the two most tangible ones that I think of. I remember having to confess that sin of porn over and over again and how every single time it felt like a bandage that just needed [to be] ripped off. It was exhausting and TERRIFYING every time, but it would free me of my sin. All of that’s based off of 1 John 1:7-8. Here: 7 But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. 8 If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. All that to say, Jesus is incredibly kind to us.”

Commentary

When the Church is done right it is a breathtakingly beautiful institution. I remember my first taste of confession. I remember being afraid to say what I was going through. I remember being scared of being kicked out of the group. And then I remember my friends responding with a smile and some of the most powerful words in the world, “Me too.”

You did not, no, cast me down to hell
You just looked at me and you kindly smiled

Wow. What a moment. To know that I wasn’t alone in my brokenness meant so much to me. Overtime I have become fully known and fully loved. Being fully known means my church group knows my past and they know my thought life, past and current. They have heard the darkest, most vile thoughts of mine and have welcomed me into their home. It’s crazy. It’s wonderful. It is powerful.

Benjamin says Swingin Hammer’s mission is to ‘challenge unto life.’ I think this means he wants encourage people to not live a life of mediocrity. The life he is imploring us to is one of authenticity and meaning where we can be fully known and fully loved, then fully know and fully love others.

“The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy. I have come that they may have life, and have it in all its fullness.” ~ Jesus in John 10:10

If you want to hear Benjamin’s additional commentary on the song you can find it below.

You can find Swingin Hammers on their website or follow them on FacebookYoutube, or Spotify. You can get a free copy of Swingin Hammers most recent album here. You can buy the self titled album, Swingin Hammers on iTunes or Amazon.

As always feel free to share the music, the website, or maybe even both with your fellow music lovers.


This article from Dallas speaks so much to me because addiction is real, a real problem, and whatever addiction it is… will suffocate the life out of us if we let it. Benjamin is singing to the heart of multitudes that are drowning in addiction, suffocated by the waterlog torture of false satisfaction and pleasure. But when you encounter the truth of Christ! You can, BREATHE AGAIN!

What Does Home Mean?

“”Can you hear me say, “I love you” from across the sea?””

Much like my friend Dallas Fluegel, I contain no musical talent but love how Dallas is contributing to the musical world by his website “The Unheard“! And through his vision am inspired to share in that contribution spreading the word to those unheard; ha, that rhymed! But in all seriousness… everyone, because the unheard need be heard much more!

I’ve been listening to the song Oslo by De Joie (Kaley Rutledge) and meditating on the question given by Dallas at the end of his article…

WHAT DOES HOME MEAN?

This song is beautiful! And you can read about it with the lyrics by clicking the link above in that question (“what does home mean?”)!

MY TAKE

As I listen to the song, I experience a mental simulation of myself walking along this shore of a sea or ocean. And as I’m walking along… I peer out across this vast expanse of water, incapable of seeing where the water meets the shore on the other side. I wonder to myself, “”can she hear me say, “I love you””.

I especially resonate with this idea of hope for home to know, “I love you”, while in the same verse communicating, “I’m wild and free”. Funny, because essentially that’s saying, “I’ll miss you, but don’t worry, trust me, I’m in good company.” I think there is this sense of security we have from home that gives us this ability to roam as though wild and free. And as you can see, Norway is a long way away from home.

I’ve never been to Norway, but have been to Germany. My grandma saw me off with a prayer and there I went, far from home on a mission trip to Weimar with my church at the time. I’m so impressed with how this song fits the description of feelings experienced at a particular stage in my life far from home, wild and free. But when I was there did my grandma hear me say, “I love you”, from across the sea? And, “don’t worry, trust me, I’m in good company.”

The meaning of home, for me, at that time, was my grandma. I was at a crossroads—a very difficult time in my life in my early to mid twenties. I was in a very broken place, vulnerable, but through unexpected events and immense amount of love and care from the God in my grandma… I found the meaning of home. I can hear God say from across the sea, “I love you”. And because I can hear it, my home is complete.

So now here I am away from home, not too far off from my twenties at 32, married to my beautiful wife, Laura. Saying from across the sea, “I love you”. And wonder… “can she hear me?”

To think on that causes me to feel something special. A metaphor with the potential to penetrate every soul with the sound of God. Because just like we tell home from across the sea (metaphorically), “I love you”. So too does God from across the other side of life because death will eventually be abolished. We can hear Him say, “I love you”. And we don’t have to worry, we can trust Him, because we are in good company.

You can know that you are in good company because of the seal of the Holy Spirit given by God through believing in Jesus Christ. When we make the personal decision to accept the Word of God as the truth that it is, we are claiming the gift of the Holy Spirit to seal our salvation from death and resurrect to life eternal by faith in the work of God. We are incapable of salvation apart from this help of the Holy Spirit to sanctify our souls from living amongst the enemy of God, that enemy is the dust of death.

That is why I believe we can feel a sense of security here on this side of eternity, wild and free in good company, because God is where our home is. Can you hear God say, “I love you”, from across the sea?


Why was she called, Woman?

Featured photo: Ben Jacobi www.bdjphoto.com 

Segment-3

22 The Lord God [t]fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. 23 The man said,

“This is now bone of my bones,
And flesh of my flesh;
[u]She shall be called [v]Woman,
Because [w]she was taken out of [x]Man.”

(Genesis 2)


In the providence of God, I understand the—woman for man—to mean something beyond the mechanical act of reproduction (be fruitful and multiply). Because, why not just continue to make men as suitable helpers for maintaining the garden? And the simple truth, I believe, is… Love. Is not the personality and nature of God defined as Love? But, with that understanding… I also see an appropriation for the order and governance of that nature, because of—what is evil; meaning that every aspect of creation (until the enacted fruition of Lucifer) was in perfect harmony with God. But what happens in the event any part of creation attempts to become apart from the Creator—what becomes the nature of that ‘part’ of creation? Or… If any created *being* attempts to be as god apart from the true God, then… What becomes the nature of that god? Because there is only One True God that is defined as Holy, Good, Truth and Love. A nature apart from that God, is evil!

So, is it not appropriate for there to be … set consequences, a course that leads to Hell for that which is evil? Of which is automatically entrusted and determined by the True God? (Because believe me, I’d rather it be me condemned not to believe for the sake of every other person to believe and be saved). But that reasoning is a result of what God has done and is doing in me because of believing in His Word as transforming my character into the likeness and image of Jesus. Not because I’ve attained righteousness. But because of an actual relationship with an eternal God through time with His Son (Word of God), it may sound crazy, but Jesus is teaching me about the meaning of what is true.

What had happened in the heavens before that imperfect occurrence on Earth? An evil influence (desires) manifested from the hearts of angelic beings that are now imprisoned until the time of the end. But at the beginning there was only… Harmony. The pure and holy form of intimacy between God and Creation, Man and Woman, Groom (Christ) and Bride that produces the light [or experience] of life in perfect harmony with God as Love. Do we as finite beings assume God is not love and alone because we refuse to see and not believe the ordination of God by the nature of our imperfections? How else is creation going to understand the process of its making if not by the revelation of Jesus? I mean, come-on! How are babies made? So then how does creation exist? The reason she was called “Woman”, I believe, for three reasons:

∞ Wisdom

∞ Love

∞ Life

Which, I think, these three combined produces an enlightenment to an intimate relationship with God. A woman is the answer to how our universe is expanding. The answer to every phenomenon and anomaly. The very Person of God functions as a marriage. An invisible God is manifested through the nature of creation (be fruitful and multiply). In more words… God is the nature of a perfect man and woman multiplying/producing the creation of everything. An invisible Spirit (seed) planted in the womb of Creation. And, it is by that nature of love, we exist! But this is only revealed by the name of Jesus because God calls Him, Son…

See you in the next segment…