Category Archives: Personality

YOU SHALL LOVE…

I recently read a rule on writing: write the way you speak. And so this is me trying to write how I speak, only…I don’t—actually—know that I would’ve started off so eloquently as I have. It might’ve started something more like me interrupting your peaceful train of thought on something much more…stupid— “so yo I read this rule about writing the way you speak,” as you roll your eyes to look at me with annoyance for interrupting a perfectly awesome daydream about things I would not care at all about other than, of course, the fact you cared enough to depart your attention from the society I so happen to inhabit. Which is unacceptable. I can’t have that.

Anyway. The point is, I need your attention. “Why” might be your urge that boils from within to a steam for my ears to hear, but let me save you that frustration by demanding you obey these two commandments before you burn…me (haha—did you like that pause, cause I did).

“Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?” And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ Upon these two commandments hang the whole Law and the Prophets.”—Matthew 22:36-40 (NASB)

See, now, doesn’t that make you feel all better…

If you’re of the literal type, you might be driven to brink of insanity when stuck on whether your author is being humorous or narcissistic—or possibly both. And so let me save you the suspense by affirming that I look at myself in the mirror when singing, also after taking a selfie, which causes me to start singing again. So basically I’m singing as I look at myself in the reflection of my computer screen:

OUR GOOOOOD…IS AN AWWESOMMEE GOD
HE REIGNS…FROM HEAVEN ABOVE
WITH WIIIISDOM, POWER, AND LOVE—

Because after all, our God is an awesome God for making someone like me— am I right!? And if you haven’t laughed at all by anything I’ve written thus far…welp, congratulations, you interpret everything from an extreme literal perspective. Which is perfectly fine, you just…might, well…need a moment, or two, to breathe, but regardless; my sense of humor is outstanding— am I right!?—(last one—that was the last one).

So now that you’ve loved me this far into your reading, lets talk about how God loves you.

YOU SHALL LOVE

I don’t think Jesus—the proclaimed Son of Man—would’ve said what He didn’t learn from His Father—the proclaimed God—without you—the proclaimed reader—in mind when He said: You shall love .

Is it wrong of me to believe that Jesus knew the conditions for such a—an axiomatic—statement yet to be proven on the terms of human nature?

I guess what I mean by that is…because Jesus knew that mine and your condition of sin (as equivalent to those questioning) blinds us from seeing the truth of such love accomplished in Him; how could there be any other way for us to see that eternal meaning of Love that God is, than for Jesus to die without tasting sin—although tempted to the point of sweating blood in resistance as you might recall “yet not as I [Jesus] will, but as You [Father] will“? The discipline of God’s Just wrath due our sin could only be quenched by the blood and water of the innocent Lamb of God—Jesus our Christ. And that, by what Jesus did on the cross, gives us a new way of seeing.

Whatever the hurt, pain, or suffering you’re experiencing; you might be on trail for your faith. And I encourage you by calling to mind where Jesus is, your Intercessor of the faith in which you hold so dear. Keep holding, hold on, don’t let go. God knows the truth of your condition so intimately that He gave His only Son as that Lamb for the sake of you. He loves you.

Don’t get me wrong, I write this in “confidence” while yet experiencing my own set of trials tempting my carnal intellect for all kinds of ghastly evil; a 3 or 4 letter word at my fingertips all too simple to type with a swift motion of my pinky—*enter*—is all it takes. Then down the rabbit hole I go with all reputation to proceed me, and that might be you at this very moment or possibly even the next. Is it? Will it be?

If it is; if it will be; be encouraged! There will be a necessary discipline, two world’s divided before you; one world will hate you, and the other will identify you as a hypocrite, but live in the former and not the latter even when you might visit the latter for a time (Don’t stay there!) Keep the faith!

Jesus showed us how we shall love, I pray we are doing so in this Christmas season, and even to death.

Amen

An Update 7-14-21

What happened? I blinked, and it’s been nearly 3 weeks since I’ve posted. Time is unrelenting. You might remember a few of my *cringing* ‘public journal’ posts with a draft and revised outline as you’ll find linked below:


//DRAFT//

  • Jesus Christ is my belief structure.
    1. What does that mean? (salvation).
      1. Human soul and God.
        1. Saved by grace through faith.
        2. How does faith work?
  • I love my wife—priority.
    1. She is the core/center of my responsibilities.
      1. I need structure.
        1. Public Journal/accountability
  • Job with hours to aid me on this trajectory.
    1. Not ideal, but blessed.
      1. I work nights and days.
      2. Best option at the moment.
        1. Aim for only nights if available.
        2. Or learn how to write, like, very good!
  • Psychology Professor—Jordan Peterson.
    1. Mentor/Maps of Meaning/(biblical skeptic?)
      1. I think Jordan’s strategy to understand ‘meaning’ is awesome!
  • My personality— understand and improve.
    1. 1 Peter 3:15 (but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;)
      1. There is a hope in the personality of a believer.
        1. My personality is wild; I want to understand it.
  • Skill/s to master:
    1. Writing.
  • Goal/s…
    • Is there more than one?
      • Where is the sacred ground?
        • What is this going to do?
          • How will this be effective?
            • What is the sacrifice?
              • Will the practice, preach?
                • What does it mean?
                  • When is it time to plant?
  • The seed is to sanctify Christ as Lord in my heart.

//REVISED//

  • Jesus Christ is my belief structure.
    1. What does that mean? (salvation).
      1. Human soul and God.
        1. Saved by grace through faith.
        2. How does faith work?
  • I love my wife—priority.
    1. She is the core/center of my responsibilities.
      1. I need structure.
        1. Public Journal/accountability
  • Job with hours to aid me on this trajectory.
    1. Not ideal, but blessed.
      1. I work nights and days.
      2. Best option at the moment.
        1. Aim for only nights if available.
        2. Or learn how to write, like, very good!
  • Psychology Professor—Jordan Peterson.
    1. Mentor/Maps of Meaning/(biblical skeptic?)
      1. I think Jordan’s strategy to understand ‘meaning’ is awesome!
  • My personality— understand and improve.
    1. 1 Peter 3:15 (but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;)
      1. There is a hope in the personality of a believer.
        1. My personality is wild; I want to understand it.
  • Skill/s to master:
    1. Writing.
    2. Videography.
  • Goal/s…
    • Is there more than one?
      • Where is the sacred ground?
        • What is this going to do?
          • How will this be effective?
            • What is the sacrifice?
              • Will the practice, preach?
                • What does it mean?
                  • When is it time to plant?
  • The seed is to sanctify Christ as Lord in my heart.

If the above outline is new to you, perfect, don’t worry about investigating it. I’ll give a brief background as to why they’re relevant.

The outline dates back to December of 2020 (approximately 7 months ago). I was prepping for the typical new years resolution (2021). Judging from my outline, that wasn’t all; there was obviously much more going on with me than setting goals. I had questions. And although I didn’t realize it at the time, the heart of my outline manifested as a kind of framework. A framework that might otherwise be described as an abstract place of reference, and a compass that’s navigated me to writing this post today. In reviewing the two outlines, there’s a very miniscule, but invaluable revision.

  • Skill/s to master:
    1. Writing.
  • Skill/s to master:
    1. Writing.
    2. Videography.

Now, of course—as the mastery of any developing value system requires the discipline—I have yet to master either of these arts, but the point of the revision in my outline is the fact that I wrote those specific skills of profession down with the intention to master them. The writing them down with intention is key. And while unpaid as a writer of this site, also unpaid as a content creator uploading YouTube videos on various “experimental” (most failed) channels I’d created over the past few years; the evidence of providence that this site means to represent gives me the privilege to tell you that my foot is now in the door as a professional video editor. But hold on! I’m just getting started! It took 5 months after writing out that revised outline before becoming a paid video editor. Much has happened over the course of 7 months since that outline.

OUTLINE

  • [12/16/20] Jesus Christ is my belief structure.
    1. [12/16/20] What does that mean? (Salvation).
    1. [12/16/20] Human soul and God.
    2. [7/14/21] What is the relationship between a person’s soul and God?
      1. [12/16/20] Saved by grace through faith.
      2. [7/14/21] Featured photo of this post update is an example of my work in developing frameworks that workout abstractions and understand axioms for righteous behavior.
  • [12/16/20] How does faith work?
    • [7/14/21] This outline is proving an example of how faith works.
  • [12/16/20] I love my wife—priority.
    1. [12/16/20] She is the core/center of my responsibilities.
    2. [7/14/21] This has not changed although a much needed constant reminder.
      1. [12/16/20] I need structure.
        1. [12/16/20] Public Journal/accountability
          • [7/14/21] This post marks a good direction in structure and accountability.
  • [12/16/20] Job with hours to aid me on this trajectory.
  • [7/14/21] Trajectory of James 5:19-20
    1. [12/16/20] Not ideal, but blessed.
      1. [12/16/20] I work nights and days.
        1. [12/16/20] Best option at the moment.
        2. [12/16/20] Aim for only nights if available.
          1. [7/14/21] I’m currently working a night shift!
        3. [12/16/20] Or learn how to write, like, very good!
          1. [7/14/21] Still a work in progress, but progressive nonetheless.
  • [12/16/20] Psychology Professor—Jordan Peterson.
    1. [12/16/20] Mentor/Maps of Meaning/(biblical skeptic?)
      1. [12/16/20] I think Jordan’s strategy to understand ‘meaning’ is awesome!
  • [12/16/20] My personality— understand and improve.
    • [7/14/21]
    • Agreeableness: 85
      1. Compassion: 96
      2. Politeness: 45
    • Conscientiousness: 35
      1. Industriousness: 44
      2. Orderliness: 30
    • Extraversion: 99
      1. Enthusiasm: 96
      2. Assertiveness: 98
    • Neuroticism: 92
      1. Withdrawal: 72
      2. Volatility: 97
    • Openness to Experience: 75
      1. Intellect: 28
      2. Openness: 95
  • [12/16/20] 1 Peter 3:15 (but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;)
    1. [12/16/20] There is a hope in the personality of a believer.
    2. [7/14/21] See above…
      1. [12/16/20] My personality is wild; I want to understand it.
      2. [7/14/21] See above…
  • [12/16/20] Skill/s to master:
    1. [12/16/20] Writing.
      • [7/14/21] Still writing.
    2. [12/16/20] Videography.
      • [7/14/21] Continually developing my skill in the field – video editor.
  • [12/16/20] Goal/s…
    • [12/16/20] Is there more than one?
    • [7/14/21] Yes.
      • [12/16/20] Where is the sacred ground?
      • [7/14/21] It’s between the spoken and written Word given from the Spirit above to emerge from the soul beneath as truth.
        • [12/16/20] What is this going to do?
        • [7/14/21] …
          • [12/16/20] How will this be effective?
          • [7/14/21] Look from where you started to where you are, and analyze.
            • [12/16/20] What is the sacrifice?
              • [12/16/20] Will the practice, preach?
                • [12/16/20] What does it mean?
                  • [12/16/20] When is it time to plant?
  • [12/16/20] The seed is to sanctify Christ as Lord in my heart.

Have you outlined the heart of your vision and mission in life on this earth? If you haven’t, then let this post be a coach to you, and encourage you. Keep striving toward your goals with faith, and expect the providence of God.


RESOURCES


Relevant Posts

“…who takes away the sin of the world!”

Read Me First

“The next day he *saw Jesus coming to him and *said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!”—John 1:29

—(Elijah) John the Baptist
Matthew 17:11 And He answered and said, “Elijah is coming and will restore all things; 12 but I say to you that Elijah already came, and they did not recognize him, but did to him whatever they wished. So also the Son of Man is going to suffer at their hands.” 13 Then the disciples understood that He had spoken to them about John the Baptist. 

MY FOCUS

As I focus on these journal entry posts, I learn and understand more about myself and my deepest concern, the salvation of souls. Ever since I’ve heard and believed in the gospel, the question of whether someone is saved or not has always been at the core of my desire to understand. More on that in other posts.

In my previous post, which is a building block to this one, I wrote, “God didn’t create me to be good or evil, or even to be as in-between—under the curse of sin as a sinner while alive by the grace of God to exist separate from Him (And thank God for that!).” Which has compelled me to expound.

GOOD OR EVIL, OBSERVE:

  • Thinking about whether God created me to be good or evil?

I don’t think God created me to be good or evil, meaning there is a difference between ‘knowing good and evil‘ and ‘being good or evil‘. God saw all that He had made, then declared it ‘all‘ as … ‘very good‘; that didn’t mean that what He created innocent from the knowledge of good and evil to be limited by that innocence as programmed robots without risk, eating that fruit to have the knowledge of good and evil, of which existed altogether in harmony with the Lord God in the garden of Eden.

So sin existed in consequence of God warning Adam and Eve not to eat, or surely they would die (Genesis 2:17 but from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat from it you will surely die.”), and since Adam and Eve ate that fruit we all die because God means what He says; God is Holy and Just to execute the punishment deemed worthy of those attributes against His enemies. When mankind disobeyed God, we became enemies of God that reaps the consequences of that disobedience, and so therefore, we all suffer death.

1 Corinthians 15:22 For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ all will be made alive.

CREATED AS A SINNER?

I’m confident that God didn’t create me to be a sinner, which was what I meant by “in-between”—forever separated from God in the prison of death and Hades if it had-been that Adam ate from the tree of life (Genesis 3:22 Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—) to live forever in the consequence of our due penalty and present state of death; It would be miserable if this world of suffering … is without end, (Revelation 1:18 and the living One; and I was dead, and behold, I am alive forevermore, and I have the keys of death and of Hades.).

Thank God for Jesus taking away the sin of the world!

  • Thinking about what it means to be separated from God?

I know that I’m separated from God through knowledge gained by experience in this flesh and blood of sin and death under the grace of God (1 Corinthians 15:26 The last enemy that will be abolished is death.) by guilt that is incapable of inheriting the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 15:50 Now I say this, brethren, that flesh and blood cannot inherit the kingdom of God; nor does the perishable inherit the imperishable.). Truth testifies to the death that I am dying as the last enemy to God yet to be abolished by the return of Jesus Christ (1 Thessalonians 4:15 For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord.).

SO AGAIN I SAY!

THANK GOD FOR HIS LAMB!

So all that to say that when Jesus took away the sin of the world at the cross as the Lamb of God, all entered into a new covenant of which saves us through faith.

The gift of God does not come without responsibility, that is to say, without repentance; repentance is experienced through much discipline by the Helper—the Holy Spirit (John 14:25 “These things I have spoken to you while abiding with you. 26 But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said to you. 27 Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.). (John 16:6 But because I have said these things to you, grief has filled your heart. 7 But I tell you the truth: it is to your advantage that I am leaving; for if I do not leave, the Helper will not come to you; but if I go, I will send Him to you. And He, when He comes, will convict the world regarding sin, and righteousness, and judgment: 9 regarding sin, because they do not believe in Me; 10 and regarding righteousness, because I am going to the Father and you no longer are going to see Me; 11 and regarding judgment, because the ruler of this world has been judged.).

Who is the ruler of this world?

I’ll leave that to build on in the next post.

Matthew 17:11 And He answered and said, “Elijah is coming and will restore all things; 12 but I say to you that Elijah already came, and they did not recognize him, but did to him whatever they wished. So also the Son of Man is going to suffer at their hands.” 13 Then the disciples understood that He had spoken to them about John the Baptist.

Lamb of God

INTRODUCTION

Hi my name is Nathan, and welcome to my blog if we don’t know each other and it’s your first time here. This past Friday – Sunday (April 2-4, 2021) was not only a memorial time for me personally, but for this world even if the world hates knowing it (John 7:7 The world cannot hate you, but it hates Me because I testify of it, that its deeds are evil.).

How this is personal to me is what you’ll read as each of these particular posts with the featured photo describes my experience with the Lamb of God. There is so much on my heart and mind that needs worked out; the freedom to write whenever throughout the day is such an awesome exercise for doing just that, working out my salvation with fear and trembling (Philippians 2:12 So then, my beloved, just as you have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your salvation with fear and trembling; 13 for it is God who is at work in you, both to will and to work for His good pleasure.). And so what is my hope by this exercise?

My hope is that you, the reader, will discover new insights along with me about the Word of God by our common devotion to Jesus Christ our Lord. If you love the Lord, you’ve come to the “write” place, and I’m so excited to go through the trials of discipline with you as we discover more of our Savior together until we’re resurrected to life with Him by the glory, wisdom, and power, of God.

LAMB OF GOD

“The next day he *saw Jesus coming to him and *said, “Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!”

—John 1:29

Now although the Bible doesn’t explicitly say from the book of Genesis that it was an innocent lamb slaughtered for the covering of Adam and Eve ( Genesis 3:21 The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife, and clothed them.); I believe it was an innocent lamb—by the fact that Jesus was identified as “the Lamb of God”—that clothed Adam and Eve, symbolizing the grace of God later to be revealed as Jesus of Nazareth who took away the sin of the world by being slaughtered on that cross (Matthew 20:18 “Behold, we are going up to Jerusalem; and the Son of Man will be delivered to the chief priests and scribes, and they will condemn Him to death, 19 and will hand Him over to the Gentiles to mock and scourge and crucify Him, and on the third day He will be raised up.”).

Why is the Lamb of God relevant to Adam and Eve?

The reason I believe the Lamb of God is relevant to Adam and Eve is because of the plan and process in which God accomplished to save us from our curse that eternally separates us from God, having been held captive to the rogue nature of a good serpent which manifests as … sin. I say “good serpent” to mean what God said when He created all things, and saw all things to be very good—including the crafty serpent in which He made (Genesis 3:1 Now the serpent was more crafty than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said to the woman, “Indeed, has God said, ‘You shall not eat from any tree of the garden’?). Which then begs the question…

If God is good, and if God is Love, how was it possible for an eternally good creature, created by an eternally loving God, turn from it’s own created nature as good, to be evil by deceiving Eve?

The answer, discovered with faith in Jesus Christ, is learned by the experience of spiritual discipline, but found in the book of Ezekiel (28:14 “You were the anointed cherub who covers, And I placed you there. You were on the holy mountain of God; You walked in the midst of the stones of fire. 15 “You were blameless in your ways From the day you were created Until unrighteousness was found in you.). Unless created beings were created to be robots of self-awareness, it doesn’t make sense that I would have the choice to be evil or good.

Therefore, I know that I wasn’t born as a created robot of self-awareness by the fact that I have the knowledge of good and evil; I can do either good or evil, but the choice comes with a risk. God didn’t create me to be good or evil, or even to be as in-between—under the curse of sin as a sinner while alive by the grace of God to exist separate from Him (And thank God for that!). So by the Lamb (grace) of God, I have the freedom to be good or evil at will – by the knowledge of both – but again, not without risk. According to this verse Genesis 3:22 Then the Lord God said, “Behold, the man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil; and now, he might stretch out his hand, and take also from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever”—; I can either be good, or be evil, as both of these archetypes are evident in my soul to breathe both influences.

By archetypes I mean Jesus Christ and Satan; Jesus Christ is good, and Satan is evil, both of which are alive in my life as the knowledge of the truth bears witness to the condition of my soul; truth is recognized by my awareness of the curse in me through Adam as a sinner dying in sin, having sinned against the Word of God from the very beginning in Adam.

All human flesh and blood of Adam and Eve since the very beginning does not inherit the kingdom of God—hence the Lamb of God. I have more to build on from here, soon…

#HEBEROSEN!

Good morning, it’s 8:00 on the 4th of April in Dallas Tx, but 8 hours away in Jerusalem, Israel… it’s 4:00 in the afternoon! We’re waking up way behind schedule! Everyone on social media is like,

“HE IS RISEN!!!”

While the Jews in Israel *shaking heads* saying, “Americans…” “God have mercy.” Jesus is at the right hand of power … *tapping watch* … “Is this thing broken? I thought I rose hours ago?” Jesus already rose, and early that day nearly 2000 years ago, so why not we consider changing the American language of our culture, and say,

He be ROSEN!”

See now that! That has a “ring” to it! He be rosen up in dis house, you feel me! Now let me just correct the gospel real quick, Matthew 28:6 He is not here, for [He be rosen up in dis house], just as He said. Come, see the place where He was lying. There! Perfect!

WE ARE FREE!!!

I mean how exciting is it to proclaim to the world our freedom from sin! Come take a look see! Matthew 28:7 And go quickly and tell His disciples that [HE BE ROSEN] from the dead; and behold, He is going ahead of you to Galilee. There you will see Him; behold, I have told you.”

SO YO!

WE HAVE THE VICTORY!

I mean Jesus gave us the victory over sin and death through the provision of a sustainable belief structure and system! How awesome is that???!!! We are no longer chained to sin that condemns us to the wrath of God unless we’ve denied the gift of our faith through Jesus Christ!


1 Corinthians 15:56 The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the Law; 57 but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 58 Therefore, my beloved brothers and sisters, be firm, immovable, always excelling in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord. (bold/italics/underline | mine)


So since Jesus be rosen in my heart, my hope is secure as my faith produces the qualities of His attributes while I die to myself for the sake of following Jesus Christ by the truth of His gospel—repentance unto eternal life!

THAT BETTER GET YOU FIRED UP!

Man do I hope that the world will hear and believe this good news, even at the prophetic words that reveal a truth difficult to bear—not all will receive, although all will hear to bow at the truth, and yet—my hope remains even at the knowledge of the truth that reveals the end before its beginning. I recognize with growing awareness that glows a very severe and fatal warning to this gift of my salvation shared with followers of the WAY, power with which words identify the place where the unbelieving soul remains consumed by condemnation … Hell.

Am I the only one that experiences the measure and weight of such words with power to shift the conscience from the perspective of victory to a perspective of grief at the thought of loss by a people choosing their denial by faith supplied to all for salvation? No… surely not. My friend and brother of the faith Draoun can tell you all about grief! That brother has been such a tremendous encouragement to me; he understands grief at a very different level, and has helped me understand the necessary process of grieving for healing. This pain doesn’t end in our flesh, but here comes more good news!

Revelation 21:3 And I heard a loud voice from the throne, saying, “Behold, the tabernacle of God is among the people, and He will dwell among them, and they shall be His people, and God Himself will be among them, 4 and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.” (bold/italics/underline | mine)

Here we go!

AN EMOTIONAL WAVE!

Let the wave of grief run its course as it crashes into its boundary limit just as God declared to Job!

Job 38:
“Or who enclosed the sea with doors
When, bursting forth, it went out from the womb;
When I made a cloud its garment
And thick darkness its swaddling band,
10 And I placed boundaries on it
And set a bolt and doors,
11 And I said, ‘Thus far you shall come, but no farther;
And here shall your proud waves stop’?

Bear in mind the glory of God by His grace and peace through faith in Jesus Christ our Lord!

WE BE ROSEN!

When Jesus Christ ascended into glory at the right hand of God, He brought us with Him according to faith in Him by the promise of His Word—eternal life. Therefore I pray my heart, mind, soul, and strength, keep the commandment to believe in Him for as long as He sustains me to serve our living God! Amen.

Just some journal writing, hope you experience more grace and peace in the knowledge of God and of Jesus, our Lord.

From thoughts to literature, and the AD 2021 passover

Ever since Winter Storm Uri, my blog writing has slowed down rather drastically—as you might have noticed since February—although that’s not ‘all‘ the reason. I’ve been experiencing a dramatic shift … an edification, that once begun is not undone, of which has caused me pause and thus, here we are: I love how Thaddeus, a stone cutter and follower of Jesus the Nazarene, (played by Giavani Cairo in The Chosen season 1 episode 5 series) describes the purification jars as Jesus works a miracle of changing water into wine.

“Once you make that first cut into the stone, it can’t be undone. It sets in motion a series of choices, what used to be a shapeless block of limestone or granite begins’ its long journey of transformation, and it will never be the same.”

—Thaddeus (The Chosen S1:E5)

That best describes what I’ve been experiencing recently while, conversing with friends and family, investigating, praying, studying and memorizing—Scripture! I’ve been deeply moved to record and share at a more personal level with the T4P audience, and so, much like that first cut into the stone setting in motion a series of choices, is exactly what this post means to do. The miracle of Jesus changing water into wine is what God does with each of us as we believe in the Son of God. We are living miracles undergoing transformation by faith in what Jesus did on the cross some 2000 years ago; He was at rest silent in a tomb where nobody saw or heard the Word, the ears and eyes of Israel and Rome were deaf and blind until tomorrow morning in Jerusalem.

ARE YOU READY?!

THE FIRST LETTER OF NATHAN

Nathan, a bond-letter by the Spirit of grace, in Jesus Christ, to those in all nations online of the same kind of faith as mine, just as the apostle Peter testified, and the apostle Paul wrote (NASB): 2 Cor 3:2 You are our letter, written in our hearts, known and read by all people, 3 revealing yourselves, that you are a letter of Christ, delivered by us, written not with ink but with the Spirit of the living God, not on tablets of stone but on tablets of human hearts. Such is the confidence we have toward God through Christ.

comMON GROUND

Alright look, don’t get it twisted! I’m just another average “joe” (human being) using the available recourses by the grace of God provided me to preach and teach The Word of God. So don’t be thinking any crazy thoughts like, “Yo, Nathan is trying to make himself out to be an apostle”; no, no, no, that couldn’t be further from the truth—so “scratch” that nonsense out yuh mind! We’re in the 21st century, not the 1st century—alright!

Listen, as you already know, I’m just as unworthy as the next person telling you about the good news, the testimony of God through the revelation of Jesus Christ—the Son of God—by reason of God our Father choosing Jesus to be His only Begotten Son as the Word of God in the flesh and blood of Jesus the Nazarene. And so grace and peace be multiplied to you in the knowledge of God and of Jesus, our Lord.

Bear with me, I’m still a young man who just happens to feel old, but the fact of the matter is, milk. That’s right, MILK! Just as the bond-servant Peter, an apostle of Jesus Christ, teaches in his 1st letter: 1 Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit and hypocrisy and envy and all slander, 2 and like newborn babies, long for the pure milk of the word, so that by it you may grow in respect to salvation, 3 if you have tasted the kindness of the Lord.

I was once one way, a way of disobedience; that way is described as malicious, deceitful, hypocritical, lustful, and prideful. I’m positive the list can go into the direction of Hell, but thanks be to God for supplying faith in His Son, Jesus, for what you are now reading as a result of my repentance from that way of death, to life eternal. Now I write to share my cup of faith, that you might believe.

Pure milk is my choice sustenance as it symbolizes The Word of God I believe in, and is at work every day in my soul, like the meaning of providence; Jesus Christ is the true source of my spiritual growth in respect to salvation. However, it’s come to my attention just how much milk I need while handling what the writer of Hebrews’ describes as “meat“. Therefore, I needed a place that was quiet and empty, a place like the moon.

I can see the Earth off in the distance, and beyond Earth is a combination of darkness and light, Hell and Heaven. The question posed by time was one of visions and dreams, throughout my stay in flesh and blood, “Where will you be, by where you are now?”

PERSEVERANCE

So… I thought to myself in respect to the grace of God present with me, “Why not mimic my role models of the faith and write letters as a testimony to my process of progress—and or quite possibly, regress, if unrepentant—in my endeavor to live in obedience to the knowledge of the truth by the power of the Holy Spirit and glory of God through faith?”

After all, the Scriptures are the compass in every man and woman’ soul to Christ our Lord, Jesus; we with eagerness, yet with patience, wait with anticipation, the day of our salvation. Therefore, it’s by the Spirit of grace through the body and blood of Jesus Christ we find ourselves in a new covenant that proclaims repentance unto salvation.

Our common ground is established by grace in the knowledge of the truth through Jesus Christ our Lord, having been born of a descendant of David according to flesh, was declared the Son of God with power by the resurrection from the dead, according to the Spirit of holiness. Jesus is the Son of Man at the right hand of God as the living Word of God that mediates between God and mankind according to the Scriptures, and no one can come to the meaning of salvation but through Him.

For the longest time I thought that I was saved from my sin by simply believing in Jesus, having ‘prayed the prayer’ that would seal me for all eternity, but there was a problem’! I not only grew up within a church that taught once saved always saved by Jesus coming into my heart, but that that idea was encouraged even though sin kept on being practiced, which posed in me another question tilling away at my soul, “Where is the disciplinary action to correct my sin if I’m truly saved?” So I continued in that idea of being “saved” until realizing the truth; I wasn’t saved, but ignorant and deceived.

So now we’ve arrived at a place of cultivation for repentance that leads to life! You remember that parable… well …let me just bring it—Luke 13:6 And He [Jesus] began telling this parable: “A man had a fig tree which had been planted in his vineyard; and he came looking for fruit on it and did not find any. 7 And he said to the vineyard-keeper, ‘Look! For three years I have come looking for fruit on this fig tree without finding any. Cut it down! Why does it even use up the ground?’ 8 But he answered and said to him, ‘Sir, leave it alone for this year too, until I dig around it and put in fertilizer; 9 and if it bears fruit next year, fine; but if not, cut it down.’”

COMPASS TO CHRIST

The parable teaches that there is no partiality with God, and unless all come to repentance, we will all likewise perish, having been cut down. And how we repent is not by some little prayer we pray thinking it was the prayer that saved us so we can continue in our sin, no, but believing in the truth that Jesus equips us with the spiritual capacity through faith by the Holy Spirit to endure discipline of which causes our repentance. When repentance is exercised in faith, the fruit is obedience by a changed mind.

To believe in Jesus means to deny ourselves even to the point of death by reason of righteousness revealed in the behavior of our God and Savior, Jesus Christ. So it’s not that we keep on sinning after we believe in the good news of God by the revelation of Jesus Christ, but that we acknowledge how we are presently choosing to be separated from the power given us to repent—condemned by our own nature and desire of sin demanding the experience of lust in this world.

Remember, it’s by way of reminder; the letters of the bondservants and apostles stir up our sincere mind by way of reminder. While we are believing in Jesus we have our way of escape from temptation through the experience of discipline in the Holy Spirit to resist the nature of our flesh that desires sin, and by putting to death the desire of our nature to sin through enduring discipline, obedience then is our result by the Spirit manifesting righteousness in our behavior.

Thank you Lord our God for the mercy bestowed upon us by supplying the forgiveness of sin through belief in Jesus Christ, and healing us to a right mind by the gift of the Holy Spirit. I pray we grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To Him be the glory, both now and to the day of eternity. Amen.

Nathan’s Public Journal | V

Tuesday, 12/29/2020

As I’ve thought more and more about this public journal and the interweaving of a story that tells The Taste Of Immortality (previous journal posts). I’ve come to realize how difficult it would be to maintain that course, and not only that, but if continued, would actually do a disservice to the concept of WarCof in that fictional nonfiction story. The idea of that story was meant to shift the readers perspective from their flesh of sin to a mind of the Spirit while using my life to bring it about, but it won’t work like that. So I plan on turning that story into a book, but in doing so will require some time and help.

Now that I have a consistency with these I die daily devotionals, am preparing to implement my goals for this new year! One goal being systematic in the T4P YouTube channel that is now named “T4P PODCAST” that will start having at least a video a week.

“The goal for this channel is to build a fortification of Christian Wisdom. Time For Providence means to broadcast the good news of the gospel, and also warn the reality of its message once heard. The good news of the gospel is that salvation is here by the name of Jesus Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit, and when the soul believes in Jesus by faith, the Spirit cleanses the sinner through a process of justification for sanctification. However, the reality of this process will be a discipline that the soul undergoes for an eternal outcome, and discipline does not ever feel good although necessary for change. Everyone reacts differently to this spiritual process, and that can cause a lot of confusion as to how to respond to this truth of which not all believe. So I hope and pray that you’ll give this channel a listen, and discover the love of an Eternal Father through Jesus Christ who desires a relationship in you.”

Right now all I have is cringe worthy content, but the whole reason there is a field to practice is to develop ones skills for winning the game. I miss playing soccer… anyway.

What bothers me the most about myself at times is the goof that comes out to absolutely obliterate the potential to be taken seriously or keep a good thing going. Not that being a goof doesn’t have its benefits when the timing is right and measured appropriately during the occasion, but I’ve failed many-a-times and reaped an inevitable embarrassment, losing the momentum or worse, evaporating from the present situation to never show my face again.

And so I have a theory that should help me regulate that spontaneous humor lurking to reveal itself by organizing my time differently. That’s another systematic goal going forward into this new year, time management, but my work schedule will be the conflicting factor to this goal and foresee its difficulty. That’s okay, its… at the very least, in my subconscious to work that out.

Now as far as an outcome based goal—write a book. I want to write several books, but if I can write at least one book this next year I’ll be ecstatic at that achievement! About writing books, there is another idea I’m experimenting with for this website, which is adding a couple pages dedicated for fiction/nonfiction based story writing. I’m still working that out in my head, but we’ll see; I’m not convinced about this idea because I already feel in over my head about what I have for this new year as it is.

My take away from 2020… is discovering the value of time and the meaning of my purpose while on this earth; I won’t reveal, yet, what that purpose is, but will say that there is no greater value than the gift of the gospel.

Belief is an axiomatic living system within the innermost part of the human being, and this system functions as an abstract ideological personality that represents the soul. Everyone believes that they are alive because of this system, but not all have [edited 02/01/2021] *exercise* faith to fear the God that can destroy this system in hell—Matt 10:28 Do not fear those who kill the body but are unable to kill the soul; but rather fear Him who is able to destroy both soul and body in hell. An axiomatic system is self-evident by the nature of two energies that build a structure of principles to reflect on [edited 02/01/2021] one truth, we are going to die because of disobedience, *which is* the very nature of sin; the two energies are good and evil that we experience as a consequence of knowledge, having eaten the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

So the soul of the human being is compromised by this system because its only capable of disobeying the law of God; when we’re commanded not to do something, that very law of the command produces the nature of our condition, which is to inevitably sin—even if we want to obey the law. Ultimately… because the law of God is Holy, and the soul of man is cursed with sin, the law kills the person for reason of being incapable of obedience to the law. However, although the human being dies, we also give birth to new life over, and over, and over, again, until finally there is an end; which, if the end came, the law would judge our cause useless forever to be *abandoned and* forgotten in *this evolving* pit of hell. But the end hadn’t come yet, and there was a solution to the problem of the law that kills. [edited 02/01/2021]

God gave us – human beings – His own Son, heir to His throne, for all the *Law and Prophets* to be fulfilled*,* and sin taken away from the world. However, there was still a problem, humankind is cursed with disobedience. God, knowing our curse of disobedience would ultimately murder His Son*;* Jesus remained obedient to His Father, our God, where we could not… so the curse of the law would be lifted and an offering of eternal life granted for all human beings that believe in Jesus Christ. [edited 02/01/2021 *edification in progress*]

Nathan’s Public Journal | IV

Sunday, 12/20/2020

When the cleaning crew arrived, the majority are ladies, and they’re attractive.

As soon as I saw them come in to collect their keys for access; their bodies burned that red and fiery orange color that orbed around their physique, but there was something different; I could see a light brownish glow that came from their brain. This color was new, or… I didn’t recognize it before. And as they would get closer, and closer, to the security desk, that brownish color intensified to it’s darkest form.

After issuing them their keys, WarCof appears next to me and asks, “Why do you see that color?”

Ignoring WarCof, I escort them to the elevators of the second floor.

My security desk is stationed on the second floor of my building of 4; my building is located on the west wing also know as West Tower-2 (WT2). There are 24 floors to each of these 4 buildings, and they’re built perpendicular to each other: North, South, East, and West.

They were built in this way for its main attraction, which is a globe that hangs in the middle connecting each of these towers at the 12th floor.

The elevators have two sets of doors; the first set grants access to visitors, tenants, and vendors to the Towers; the second set will open exclusively for authorized personal to the globe, but no tenants, vendors, or visitors have access—making my job that much more fun—not even the third party management company that answers directly to GE, or God’s Eye, we call it, has access without security, into the globe.

GE stands for Global Earth, which is the company name of very powerful people I have yet to meet in person, and to the best of my knowledge the globe functions as a meeting lab for Avengers. Okay, well, not exactly. But it gives off that feel … considering the secrecy and philanthropic vibe by research, and having observed the evolving change and activity from a distance for 7 years; it’s a mystery, and way way above my pay grade to care that much.

On the way to the elevators, the cleaning crew is in front of me, and the ladies have my attention whether they’d asked for it or not. They are talking in their native tongue, Spanish. Some are giggling while making subtle glances in my direction; young, early twenties, somewhat petite, but the worst part is…they’re desirable, and they know it.

My routine is rote which makes this part of my job very dangerous in that I’m human and experience what humans desire; which if not controlled, compromises the nature of my position to prevent liability, maintain integrity, and hold dear my vows to Laura; the vulnerability of the human condition is sensitive to the extreme, and for some odd reason the reproductive system of my body ignites this desire to be fruitful and multiply more children of wrath in this world.

These colors of light about these ladies is entrancing… How the deep dark red is pulsating to their hearts’ beat, their bodies lit a flame that orbs about them, and now, how the color of their minds are shifting shades of brown as I draw closer or further away. I stare more intently at the color of their mind and feel this urg—

DING” – “SECOND FLOOR—GOING DOWN

Distracted by the elevator’s artificial operator, I think to myself “Why do I see that color?”, and quickly come to my senses.

It’s afterhours and in the event there is any malfunction, especially an indicator of a technological glitch in the artificial intelligent geware; I must be ready to respond and immediately notify PM—Property Management—which technically is that third party management service aforementioned, so they can quickly report the issue and await further instruction. I’m more or less a backup system in the event of a cyber crisis, and the geware system need be shutdown; or basically, quite simply, the elevator doors, just…don’t open.

On the way back to the security desk I process the color activity between me and those attractive women, why did the color behave like that?

Then WarCof, still with me, said—”Nathan, you don’t see your own color for a reason, but as you’ve already witnessed: there is a blue to green light orb that describes the essence of men, so too, you have in like fashion as they. As both these colors between men and women collide, a language is revealed. A language of activity that has the power to reveal an active truth. And as those ladies drew nearer to you, the colors revealed the nature of your sin, your desire; humans have a chemical energy and radiance that influences the behavior in which you were experiencing. When the green orbs of men clashes with the orange orbs of women, information that is invisible to the human eye you now have access to see, and the brown color in the minds of those women—you found attractive—reveals a nature of sin that is in every human.”

Stunned, I didn’t know what to think. I went on autopilot and continued to process every word of what WarCof said… and in that state, I remained.

I arrive home, it’s late, Laura is already asleep, but there she lay in all her magnificence, with that beautiful deep red to fiery purple orb that lights up the dark just right, it’s perfect, and incredible. The light behaves in such a way that it brings peace as she sleeps, “pfffffffff…” then there’s this loudest fart that came out of nowhere vibrating the entire room, strong enough to disturb the colors of the orb. That was amazing and quite profound, I thought it would never end. She shuffles a little bit, unconsciously, like she was about to wake up, but nope. No matter.

I can’t help but to watch her sleep, like a creeper, and I have so many questions. Like… why does her mind not behave like that of the other women? I don’t see the brown glow in her mind? Is she attracted to me? Have I no attraction for her? Does she not have that sin as WarCof said? Was WarCof wrong? Can I trust what WarCof is telling me? Is something wrong…

THE TASTE OF IMMORTALITY

Nathan’s Public Journal | III

Thursday, 12/17/2020

Laura burns with a different color than the other women I see. Her heart burns with that same intense deep red, but where there is a fiery orange for the other women… Laura has a gorgeous purple similar to that of WarCof. “Why”, I say to WarCof, but then everything unfreezes and WarCof is disappeared, gone. Everything returned as though nothing happened, but something remained…


Okay, the bigger font is our story. I still have the date at the top of our journal post to indicate the present time. The military time (Time ####—) I used in the previous journal entry NPJ | II was to log the actual time I was writing that day to describe my events of that day—that actually occurred, other than the fantasy aspect of the narration—I’m using for the beginning of our story. And to prevent any confusion between fiction or nonfiction; I’m using this smaller font as my true nonfictional self (Hi, my name is Nathan), where as now, the…

bigger font

…has evolved into our story line, which includes fiction with the nonfiction. The fiction, of course, involves: WarCof and these now supernatural affects/abilities to our characters that describe our eternal realm that surrounds us, and is truly about us. This story is describing a very present and real taste of immortality, but also told from a very real dying and human perspective, of which the meaning is revealed as the story continues. Okay, now back to the story—where Nathan is still at NorthPark Center with Laura having a mental breakdown…


My head is spinning, I’m dizzy. I could hear the muffled tone of Laura’s concerned voice, “Honey, are you okay?” But it was like waking up from a vivid dream, processing what I’d just dreamt. But in this case witnessed, thinking—did that just really happen, is this really happening—do I really have these new abilities, what is going on?

I feel this pain in my head gradually increasing as I look at Laura; her body is transparent by this deep pulsating dark red, the color moves with each beat—thu-dump, thu-dump, thu-dump—of her heart, causing a ripple like effect; the light is as constant as her pulse, like it’s alive or something; as the light moves outward from her heart to the shape of her body, that dark red transitions to light red at her frame; then right at the exterior of her frame, the colors converge into this fiery purple, giving off this orb like glow that extends out into her surrounding space. It’s magnificent…

“‘AHH!’ ‘OU!’ ‘SSS-GAWW!'” It’s painful to look at her for too long.

Laura’s tone becomes desperate, “Honeyyyy, talk to me, what’s wrong?” “EMMMM—my head … hurts. Might be a migraine?”, I lie.

We’re on the second floor of the shopping center, a railing is close by; the center of the mall opens up from floor to ceiling, revealing the two dividing floors where escaladers are strategically stationed at select locations for consumers to ascend and descend between the floors.

I stumble to the railing, catching myself, while hearing Laura’s elevated tone, “Honey!? … Honey!?? Do you need to sit down!? Are you okay!?”

We are not far from the food court, and the place is packed with all kinds of humans! The light shining from each person gives off an extraordinary combination of colors, especially as they get closer to the orbs of other people. It’s fascinating!

While I’m on the railing, I can see the first floor where people are walking under us oblivious to who’s looking from above.

I try my best to keep my composure; I have one hand on my face squeezing my head with my index finger and thumb, while the other hand is holding myself up on this rail—with the help of Laura, of course.

I close my eyes, shake my head violently, blink rapidly, and several times. I’m trying to adapt to this changing condition and new ability of my sight to these colors of light; I don’t understand it—obviously—it’s not making any sense, why would it?

I mumble… “WarCof” … “What! Who?”, Laura asked. “Oh uh— nothing”, I say quickly, while thinking to myself; how do I know his name?

I could feel Laura’s arm squeeze tighter; she had wrapped it around me to prevent the worst possible outcome, going over the rail when I’d stumbled over to it; she is trying to hold me up—deeply concerned that I’m about to pass-out or something, “Come on honey, let’s go.”

She motions to that bench, that bench where the kid was above—frozen mid air—now, available.

I’m catching glimpses of peoples’ attention drawing on us now, and I can feel Laura’s anxiety spiking. People walking by us are slowing down.

Aware of what’s happening; I try to adapt immediately to fake a normal composure, but I can feel myself changing, and it’s extremely painful with each step. My brain is throbbing, and the vibration of my steps—intensifies the pain.

It felt like eternity, but finally, a place to sit.

The bystanders are curious, I can feel them. I tell Laura, “I don’t feel so good.” Laura wanted to call the police, but I’d noticed already, several were close by, acting aloof, while Laura was still waiting on my answers after so many unanswered frantic questions. “No, no! I’m okay, I’m okay!” I said.

I’m obviously not okay, but attempting to explain the nature of my condition would land me in a Psych ward.

“Let’s go home.” I say to Laura. “Okay, babae kissies”, she says ever so sweetly. So I muster the strength to get up, and hopefully, walk normal—which might look like I was either drugged or drunk to onlookers watching our every move. I mean it does, indeed, look weird seeing a grown man leaning on a cute little Mexican woman for support.

But then again, looking around, the other men with Hispanic ladies are doing the same thing. I guess I’m not the only husband getting la chancla at home, one guy even used Morse code to signal an S.O.S. from the light of his phone in his pocket and also—”these women are crazy, man, help me”—I signaled back—dude, mine knows that signal, are you trying to get us killed—his eyes got massive, face full of fear, and then we smiled facetiously as we moved along.

As soon as Laura and I make it back to our decked-out four door 2035 hovering Toyota Corolla LE that counters the gravitation pull… or rather, the momentum of the earths rotational force around the sun influx of our Milky Way galaxy’s trajectory into dark matter and energy—Laura pops’ the trunk, throws me in saying, “I saw the Morse code.”, and pulls out this chancla I’d never seen before.


The End.


Okay, not really, but once inside our normal gas engine vehicle, I passed out cold—dead asleep. I hardly remember getting out of the car to find our bed once we’d arrived home, and thankfully, I didn’t have work until Thursday 12/17/2020.


Two days later—today.


I’d slept for nearly two days, woke up feeling like it was any other day, and just in time to get ready for work.

I could hear Laura downstairs in the kitchen, probably preparing me something to eat now, and a meal for later. I quickly get dressed in my security uniform and go downstairs. BOOM! I hit the door at the end of our staircase as soon as I see Laura. There she is in all her fiery red purple glow as she stands in the kitchen stunned and confused by my display.

It all came back to me, and I remember the WarCof encounter and the sound of his voice.

Thinking to myself What do these colors mean? as I make my way to Laura, still somewhat confused. “Something’s going on with you?”, she says. “Me, naww, I’m alright, much better now that I’ve slept.” I kiss her, but could tell that Laura wasn’t buying it, and time didn’t allow for further investigation.

I ate fast, grabbed my meal and supplies for work, and said, “Thank you, Love, I love you.” Laura walks me to the door, watches me like some creeper as I walk to the car. Just kidding, she always beholds me with great wonder and enthusiasm as I strut to the car like I’m the king of the world because she’s watching.

I put my things in the back seat, just behind the drivers side, and as soon as I get in the car—WarCof.

WarCof appears in the passenger side seat in all his amazing glory scaring the death, literally, out of me, “How did yo—” “Drive!”

I put the car in gear and head north from south Dallas. “What is going on?” I ask with subtle fear and intense hope, “You know the scriptures, and where it speaks of what this experience is…” “No, no I don’t, and how do I know your name? WarCof.” “Don’t worry about driving.” There was a brief silence. “…What!?” “I know where your occupation is—so don’t worry about driving.” This was weird, I didn’t know how to respond to that. So I kept silent.

I continued to drive in disbelief of his instruction. I didn’t say another word, but for some reason, his company remained with me in the passenger seat. So we just sat there, in silence, the whole way to my job site in the metroplex of Dallas TX. Once I’d arrived onsite, clocked in for duty, WarCof was still at my side—or at least, within proximity of my sight. His presence was powerful, nothing like anything to compare from an earthly description.

I stationed myself at the security desk after making a patrol of the site, checking the high priority areas inside the high-rise office building first, then the integrity of the garage and building structure next. The cleaning services were about to arrive, and would need access into certain tenants’ offices with a red dot on their door handle indicating ‘authorized personal only’.

When the cleaning crew arrived, the majority are ladies, and they’re attractive. As soon as I saw them coming into the building to collect their keys for access, their bodies burned with that red and fiery orange color that orbed around their physique, but there was something different. I could see a light brownish glow that came from their brain. This color was new, or… I didn’t recognize it before. As they would get closer and closer to the security desk, that brownish color intensified to it’s darkest form.

After issuing them their keys, WarCof appears next to me and asks, “Why do you see that color?”


Okay, we’ll get to there in a our next journal entry (NPJ | IV). Until then, be thinking about this scripture: For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit, 5 and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come, 6 and then have fallen away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God and put Him to open shame.

THE TASTE OF IMMORTALITY

Nathan’s Public Journal | II

Tuesday, 12/15/2020

Time 0140—In the morning of this brisk, silent, night. Well, “silent”… as in a feeling; my beautiful wife is breathing in a way that indicates REM sleep, and there is a sound of warm air blowing through the ventilation system—to fight off the cold in the night; awe of course, and the sound of the ‘k’ ‘e’ ‘y’ ‘s’ mashing against my keyboard as my fingers mean to type quietly. I don’t want to awaken the… Naura; ooooohhhh…I’m joking-I’m Joking! My wife (Laura), is the sweetest; even if she woke up, she’d probably unconsciously give me a hug and a kiss, then back to bed.

So after listening to the critique, well… honest advice, of my wife, on the original version to this journal entry (12/12-14/2020), decided on a different tactic for this post. I won’t bore you on the details because written well, it won’t matter.

Don’t mind skipping past the reference structure below. It’s my map.


  • Jesus Christ is my belief structure.
    1. What does that mean? (salvation).
      1. Human soul and God.
        1. Saved by grace through faith.
        2. How does faith work?
  • I love my wife—priority.
    1. She is the core/center of my responsibilities.
      1. I need structure.
        1. Public Journal/accountability
  • Job with hours to aid me on this trajectory.
    1. Not ideal, but blessed.
      1. I work nights and days.
      2. Best option at the moment.
        1. Aim for only nights if available.
        2. Or learn how to write, like, very good!
  • Psychology Professor—Jordan Peterson.
    1. Mentor/Maps of Meaning/(biblical skeptic?)
      1. I think Jordan’s strategy to understand ‘meaning’ is awesome!
  • My personality— understand and improve.
    1. 1 Peter 3:15 (but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;)
      1. There is a hope in the personality of a believer.
        1. My personality is wild; I want to understand it.
  • Skill/s to master:
    1. Writing.
    2. Videography.
  • Goal/s…
    • Is there more than one?
      • Where is the sacred ground?
        • What is this going to do?
          • How will this be effective?
            • What is the sacrifice?
              • Will the practice, preach?
                • What does it mean?
                  • When is it time to plant?
  • The seed is to sanctify Christ as Lord in my heart.

Time 0439—Just completed a couple scheduled devotionals (P1-V15 and P1-V16). Now that, that work is prepped; it frees me up to get creative with this public journal. The idea is to write in a way that tells a story, a true story, but with a twist. The reason this journal is public is to benefit both the writer, but more importantly, the reader. And I can’t have you bored out of your mind. So let me go get some more coffee real quick as I think about you in this story of ours.

Time 0519—I kid you not, as soon as I grabbed my coffee cup to head downstairs, Laura says to me, “Are you getting coffee?” Mind you, she has no idea what I’d just written, the room is dark (other than the candle next to me), and she couldn’t see that I’d grabbed my cup (because a black fabric blocks her view as it hangs from our ceiling nearly the length of our desk). This might be prophetic—said facetiously. I asked her how she knew I was going to get coffee, and she says “I don’t know.” I mean, that’s just providential!

Anyway, as I thought of you while getting coffee; I was inspired by the written word of God, to have a title for our story:

THE TASTE OF IMMORTALITY

Time 0911—We live in the realm of the eternal, this isn’t a fictional story. There are fictional names to real characters in mine and your stories, but our land of the eternal is very real—nonfictional (actually occurring) as we live today. There are enemies and friendlies that move all around and about us, so listen closely as we venture into the world of the eternal. And experience the taste of immortality.

Time 2111—There is a character by the name of WarCof, also known by his initials (WC). It’s getting late; I have less than 3 hours. The time is dark, evil is lurking. WarCof is an image-bearer of the Light, an eternal being known as the—Wonderful Counselor. The earth at this time of our lives, is also know as—the world of wrath. This world of wrath is presently an age of what feels like an eternal hell; these earthly beings are wearing face masks, carrying hand sanitizers and disinfectants, maintaining social distancing to prevent the spread of the inevitable consequence of sin—death.

Time 2145—Laura and I (Nathan), decided to go out into the world of wrath between the gap of 0911-2111; for nearly 6 hours, we were out at a shopping center called NorthPark; we exchanged clothing items that were the wrong fit for us at the H&M shop, and found a gift for a close relative. The shopping center was packed with people, and as Laura and I walked a couple laps, the strangest thing started to happen with my eyes.

At first, all I saw was gray, the color gray was everywhere; the shops, the people, the merchandise, everything with a physical form was gray. I blinked a few times, no change. I closed my eyes and rubbed each of them simultaneously with my hands, when they opened, I met WarCof. WarCof strangely appeared in this magnificent color of white/purple, his figure wasn’t that attractive, but built like a man. He was about my height (5’7″), but couldn’t figure his weight, it wouldn’t register in my brain. His voice made a sharp deep powerful sound, although, it felt gentle to my ears—a perfect tone.

“Look”, he said. And when I did, I saw everything perfectly still. Nothing moved, no sound was made, no air was felt, and the people and their children completely frozen in their place. I saw families in mid step, mouths unmoved although stuck open from mid conversation, a kid frozen in mid air from leaping off a bench. Police officers… well… nothing too unique there, they were already posed.

But here is where it gets interesting.

As I continued to look … two distinct colors began to emerge specific to their gender, male and female; the women have this color combination of red/orange giving off this beautiful fiery glow, their bodies are transparent as the color intensifies at their core, their heart burns an intense deep red; the color of the men glow an amazing blue/green, and a deep cold dark blue intensifies at the heart, exactly the same way the deep red does for the women. Then my eyes shift to gaze upon my wife, I nearly fall to the ground ducking; she has this froze pissed off face, it’s actually quite cute and funny.

Laura burns with a different color than the other women I see. Her heart burns with that same intense deep red, but where there is a fiery orange for the other women… Laura has a gorgeous purple similar to that of WarCof. “Why”, I say to WarCof, but then everything unfreezes. WarCof is disappeared, gone. Everything returned as though nothing happened, but something remained…

THE TASTE OF IMMORTALITY

Nathan’s Public Journal | I

Monday, 12/7/2020

Here I sit, cameras in view, the time for me to be off duty is fast approaching. It’s nearly 06:00 (military time) coming off of a 12hr deep night shift during the weekend. My occupation is as a level 2 Private Security Officer and my work schedule is not ideal, but it’s currently the closest to my preference considering the options; this schedule fits my focus at this duration of my life. That focus is … well, we’ll get to that, but right now I’m still getting over this cringe.

I didn’t realize just how, hmmm … damaged I was, until re-reading some of my material of old. I can see where my mind would get stuck in the trauma of my past; a lot of my first posts I’d published nearly 3 years ago are written in a language of which feels, irreconcilable. I think, needless to say, I’m thankful for the grace—to be ever learning through undeveloped skills—of inexperience; the mistakes are endless, and that’s frustrating (I learn hands-on). However, there is a story in my mess waiting to be written, just not yet. Alright—time to head home.

So… now I hope, is as good-a-time as any to welcome you to my journal. If you’ve followed along with me (I know those of you who have) until now, you know this about me. I’ve been thinking about this journal idea for too long now (like yesterday—that’s a joke); writing happens to be very therapeutic for me, so uh… thank you, Therapist, I guess. This idea is much-much more than a therapy session you get to sit in on to hear all about my life’s drama. It will be an empirical psychology, only it’s written to be watched through the lens of intuition and imagination that writing/reading ignites!

Psychology—according to wordnik—at its core; the study of the human soul. And there is where I’m going to learn how my salvation is alive! I don’t know about you, but I want to understand my soul. And more than that, I want to understand the relationship between salvation of the human soul and God. I want to learn about what my belief structure means; I found someone in the field of psychology, a mentor. I’m exercising (like working out in the gym or fitness center) the weight of the gospel in my conscience. So I thought, “Well, what if my ‘T4P’ people want to keep a watchful eye on this progress and quite possibly, discover something of their own by this as well?” A big part of this idea goes out to Dallas Fluegel (check em out on YouTube) because I really like how he has structured—is structuring—himself by his videos, and want to apply that to my life.

Tuesday, 12/8/2020

What if you could understand your personality?

Function the way that you do?

Feel the way that you feel?

Does that not sound absolutely terrifying, it’s so awesome! Anyway, there are reasons I behave the way I do as soon as I wake-up into this world of causality that provides insight into who Nathan is and why he is, the way he is. I want to tap into that meaning of myself, so… here it goes. *Let’s make this a page turner.